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Shaya Hecht

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    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Feeling my emotions in the forum Trauma

     

    Great question!

    From a trauma and IFS lens, the pain you’re feeling is likely the pain held by your inner-child. In short, in IFS therapy when we help the inner child or “exile” unburden, we can ask our inner child to share the pain in small-doses so that our system doesn’t get overwhelmed. The inner child or “exile” is surprisingl…Read More

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    Hi,

    Interesting question. I’m curious as to what the difference would mean to you.

    Desires and emotions are natural parts of the human experience. I notice that you mentioned “emotional problem.” I am not sure if you meant that the emotions are a problem which invalidates a very large aspect of being human, or if you meant that your emoti…Read More

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    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Taking the lead in therapy in the forum Trauma

     

    Hi okidoki,

     

    Your experience is a common one.

    I would encourage you to present your struggle with taking the lead to your therapist herself. That conversation itself has rich therapeutic value. There’s likely a lot to process there.

    Good luck!

  • Hi Chavy,

    I’m so glad you used this space to get support and validation, These forums have given exactly that to so many people. We are here with you!

    As you know, the struggle that you are having with missing your therapist is so normal. Many people struggle with this, especially those who have suffered from attachment wounds and relationship t…Read More

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    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Fear of Dogs in the forum Start Here

    Hi,

    CBT/ Exposure therapy will likely help you overcome your fear of dogs fairly quickly.

    Good luck!

     

     

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    Hi VegetableLover,

    What a challenging experience!

    It seems like perhaps through the process of conditioning, your brain interprets anything that looks like panic as something threatening.

    The best thing you can do when your heart rate goes up is to recognize and label that what your are experiencing is a normal human experience. It’s c…Read More

  • Hi Nochum,

    ROCD is a form of OCD. It’s possible that the intrusive thoughts are exclusively only about ones relationship, but it’s also possible to suffer from intrusive thoughts in other areas as well.

    I hope that answers your question.

     

    All the best!

     

  • My pleasure. Best of luck!

  • Research shows that the  best treatment for OCD or ROCD is Exposure and Response Prevention therapy (ERP). If you do have an OCD diagnosis, that’s the best form of treatment for you. If that is the type of therapy that you are in, then that’s “the method to get outta this and enjoy life.” If you are in a different form of therapy, it’s possible t…Read More

  • Hi Hope,

    You are describing a common experience that many people have after therapy sessions.

    In addition to the excellent point made by Chavy about doing some grounding, I would encourage you to bring this struggle of yours to your therapist’s attention. If the therapist knows how you feel after sessions, s/he may make changes to the way they c…Read More

  • Hi Nochum,

    Perhaps you are referring to Relationship OD or ROCD?

    It’s  a subtype of OCD which involves obsessing through being consumed by one’s doubts about their relationship. Common examples of obsessions relate to whether one married the right person, is attracted to their spouse, are truly in love with their spouse, or if their spouse trul…Read More

  • I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.

    Yes, absolutely. Unresolved trauma can bring about re-enactments of the trauma.

    My intention was to keep an open mind, and explore how any of your earlier relationships whether as a child or adolescent can be impacting your romantic relationships today.

    I want to be clear that I don’t know you, and I…Read More

  • Wow. Your awareness is profound.

    What you describe is not uncommon.

    The attachment patterns that we experience as children are so powerful that we may subconsciously recreate these patterns in our adult relationships. You seem to be aware that there’s something compelling about certain dynamics even though they are unhealthy relationships. I…Read More

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    Hi anonymousp,

    I want to start by saying that your getting help for yourself despite the stigma being so real for you is a sign of huge strength, and I’m so inspired by it.

    Your questions are about how to wean off your medicine and how to open-up about the fact that you went on them in the first place. I am wondering if you are as i…Read More

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    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Anxiety about apperance in the forum Anxiety

    Hi Nochum,

    I think it’s great that you have all this awareness. It seems that your struggle is deeper than about your wife’s appearance. I hope you find the help that you need.  Good luck on the journey!

  • Profile picture of Shaya Hecht

    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Anxiety about apperance in the forum Anxiety

    Hi Nochum,

    Sounds like your the anxiety has impacted your ability to be present in your relationship both while you are with your wife and when not with her.

    Michali has made some excellent points, and I agree that a comprehensive assessment should be done to identify the underpinnings of your anxiety. I would encourage you to seek out a…Read More

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    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Empowering children in the forum Parenting

    If I understand you correctly, more often than not you both agree that your husbands reactions are mostly a result of him being triggered by your daughters behavior reminding him of parts of himself that he doesn’t like.

    Wow! That’s so vulnerable of him to identify that as something he struggles with.

    Since he has this awareness, I wonder if…Read More

  • Profile picture of Shaya Hecht

    Shaya Hecht replied to the topic Empowering children in the forum Parenting

     

    Hi Funjester,

     

    Great question!

    Navigating family dynamics can be really challenging! The age of your child and the nature of the dynamic between you and your husband are key factors.

    Can you clarify how old your child is and if in fact you agree with your husband that she should be asking permission?

     

     

  • Profile picture of Shaya Hecht

    Shaya Hecht wrote a new post

    ADHD is a real diagnosis, but it can be confusing and hard to understand. To clear up the confusion, I will attempt to explain ADHD and its implications in simple terms based on the research of Dr. Russell […]

    A Brief Overview of ADHD

    ADHD is a real diagnosis, but it can be confusing and hard to understand. To clear up the confusion, I will attempt to explain ADHD and its implications in simple terms based on the research of Dr. Russell Barkley,...

    Read More
    1 Comment
    • Hi, thank you for posting this! it is so interesting, relatable, and so so validating, thank you!
      so its really a real struggle with impulse control , theres an issue in my brain, i’m not just lazy…… (hopefully, or maybe i am) ‘
      either way i have severe ADHD which is getting worse with time , and medicines seem to be less effective with time, so this is very interesting.
      i really wish there was more information about ADULTS with ADHD, the vast majority of info is about kids, but it doesnt go away, these kids grow up into adults,

      also thank you for explaining so clearly and concisely, that was very nice, and i appreciate it

      are there any recourses / therapies for adults with severe adhd that anyone can recommend??
      thanks!!!!
      (and thank you Fay for managing this:):)

  • Hi Climber,

    I can’t speak for the original Posters, but I thought they were saying that they know intellectually that their therapist cares about them because they hear their therapists validating them for example. But they don’t feel an emotional bond with their therapist where they feel that even though they have to do the work,  someone is r…Read More

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