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Rivky Dasheff

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  • This is such an important and beautiful question and conversation. I love how this has become the place for participants to give each other courage, strength and validation for their struggles.

    I do believe that religion is a most integral part of our being, if not everything. Judaism is not just a religion that we choose to be a part of one day…Read More

  • Hello Okidoki.

    Thank you for sharing this important question. Sounds like you’re really scared to open up to your therapist and take the lead. Firstly, Just to let you know- YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I was actually that person once upon a time! So just know that you can and WILL get there!

    Here are a few thoughts and questions to ask yourself:

    Do you…Read More

  • Such a good question. Sounds so frustrating to try to get someone, especially your husband to hear your point of view and it not going anywhere.

    I’m just wondering what you’ve tried in the past?

    A poll was taken with thousands of men. All of them were asked this question: How important it is to them that their wives are happy. They all said…Read More

  • Hi Nachum.

    To answer your question about control- Anxiety usually comes from the need to control and realizing that we’re not in control. For example, people get anxious from flying, because they’re not in control of the plain.

    What I hear for you is that even if you don’t say anything to your wife, your thoughts of her not looking a certain way…Read More

  • Hello Nachum. Thank you for bringing this question here, it shows how self- aware you are. You recognize the need for your wife to look a certain way, to the extent that it brings up anxiety for you when she doesn’t. You also realize that this might destroy your marriage, and you surly don’t want that.

    Firstly, recognize that your need for your…Read More

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    Rivky Dasheff replied to the topic Empowering children in the forum Parenting

    I get it, respecting your spouse is a skill to learn and sounds like you are well on you way!

    I hear how challenging it can be when you don’t agree with some fundamental ideas.

    I’ve been there, and now I can say that I’m reaping the benefits of what respecting my husband can do!

    It’s my passion to empower other women on their journey towards…Read More

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    Rivky Dasheff replied to the topic Empowering children in the forum Parenting

    This sounds like such an empowering question! I hear your frustration in trying to empower your daughter while it seems like your husband is not.

    I love how you want to be respectful of your husband and be on the same page.  I also love how you want to empower your daughter with the strengths that she was given and to become independent.

    I hear…Read More

  • I love this question because it means you are so self- aware and want to be the best person you can be! I also love all the support and responses that this community is offering you.

    Like others have said, for sure discuss this with your therapist. Also, as others have reiterated, we are not perfect and never will be. I like to say that we are…Read More

  • I hear your frustration!

    Just something different to think about- I recently had a client in a similar situation. She took a blood test which showed hormonal imbalance. When she began taking a medication to to supplement the hormone she was missing, she felt a little better almost immediately.

    How would it fit for you to take a blood test to…Read More

  • malkyknob, this sounds so scary and painful. I hear your fear and your pain is so relatable. Even just thinking about a younger sibling getting married before you is so huge and painful. I get it.

    Your self awareness is commendable. You don’t want people talking about you or pitying you.

    Question- What do you think of yourself? Do you pity…Read More

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    Rivky Dasheff replied to the topic Accept or Fight? in the forum Just Shmooze

    Oh Bananas! This is sooo relatable! It can be so scary to accept life’s challenges.

    I hear that your fear in accepting your challenge is that you’ll then have to live with it forever. So fighting it makes you feel like your in control, but is also sapping all of your energy and the joy from your life. Is that right?

    Is fighting your challenge…Read More

  • snowpea2, your self- awareness is commendable! I believe that you are 80% of the way there! Once you are aware of what’s not working for you and you want to be accountable for it, you’re really almost there!

    It sounds so painful and lonely to have lost some friends and must feel horrible to realize that your actions might have caused it. You are…Read More

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    Rivky Dasheff replied to the topic Dating in the forum Something else? Post here!

    I really feel your pain. You are hurting so much. It’s so painful to watch all your friends get engaged, and to hear how they got what they wanted effortlessly while you’re working so hard. I hear your despair. It’s so understandable. You are not alone.

    You sound like a really growing person who loves to connect to Hashem and other people. You…Read More

  • Hi.

    I love the ideas that Shoshana gave.

    TStein23, you’re going through a lot! And this sounds so overwhelming to go through this pattern each morning. Also, so painful and disheartening to know where you want to be and be holding where you’re at now.

    Your self- awareness is amazing and your commitment to getting up everyday, no matter the…Read More

  • Hi.

    I love all these ideas of self care, connecting to your hobbies, desires, and spiritual self! All great ways of owning your happiness and re-igniting that spark within you.

    I invite the questioner to start by making a list of twenty self cares you enjoy doing. Things that make you feel filled up, fun and emotionally attractive to be around-…Read More

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    Rivky Dasheff replied to the topic Dating in the forum Something else? Post here!

    Wow! Philosophical Tzadik, this  stage in your life sounds so painful and lonely. I hear how great the struggle is and totally get why you are so frustrated. You are not alone!

    I’m sure you are doing all the things that fall under practical hishtadlus, and trying to strengthen your toolbox of Emunah and Bitachon.

    Let me ask you, what do you do…Read More

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