mlove, these are painfully awesome!
…you have a million things to discuss with your therapist, and when finally in session you draw a blank and nothing seems worthy of discussion, so you just sit and while away the therapy hour with a staring contest.
Perlita, this so resonates!
I’m forever searching in books for that answer that will finally relieve me of this unrelenting ache.
It’s so hard to face that the work is so, so slow and so hard and there’s no way around it. <3
I’ll start, can you chime in with more?
… you think of your weeks not as starting on Sunday but on whichever day your session is.
… you hyperventilate when your kids learn to read, because where are you gonna hide all your therapy books?
… you find yourself using words like projection and boundaries and insecure and enmeshed in every…Read More
Hey, hope, it was so interesting to get a notification about this thread at a time when I’m actually struggling with this too — and to see that didn’t follow my own advice.
I find it so hard to choose about what to address when I was overwhelmed with stuff.
How’s it going on your end? Still feeling like you just can’t cover enough ground?
One thing my therapist worked with me about anxiety (mainly that I’m always preparing myself for something bad to happen) is she made me think about how being anxious is helpful — meaning, how is being anxious now gonna help me mitigate that theoretical danger when it occurs.
Turns out, except for the normal things that are in our control,…Read More
At that particular time I read her the list (I found it helpful because I threw in the little pieces I wanted to share).
She had initiated the exercise so it was easier for me to be able to read it. If I’d have initiated, perhaps I’d have given it to her to read, something I’ve done with other things plenty of times.
What was really…Read More
At that particular time my therapist had me write the list in session, but I think it can be done with a list you bring in too.
You might have the presence of mind at home to include everything and know you covered all the bases.
Wishing you the best <3
This pressure is so hard, and also takes away the possibility of enjoying the little space you do have to tackle the issues.
I would really encourage you to talk your therapist about this issue.
Sometimes it’s a possibility to see a therapist more often during crisis, though not all therapists would go for that.
I remember once being in such a…Read More
Thank you! And if you have more thoughts about this, I’d love to hear.
I know that your question was already addressed, but from a client’s point of view, I wanted to share that the combination of the therapy meaning so very much and the anxiety around therapy is something I have too.
And in my case, I actually think it’s related.
It’s because I assign so much weight to this session, and because I need the…Read More
I really identify with this struggle.
I also so deeply have the wish for someone to do the work for me, to fill in what I never got.
And so many times I’ve deluded myself into thinking… if only my therapist would see me more often, if only she’d be less boundaried, if only she’d get the intensity of my pain, maybe then this burgeoning unrest…Read More
It’s a tough one.
Not a professional, but my own take on things is that one of the first things would be to learn to disconnect in a way that you know that their bad mood has nothing with you, is not because of you, was not caused by you, cannot be controlled by you. Once you get that distance, it’s easier to deal with.
When someone has…Read More
I think it would be very helpful to discuss this in therapy.
In fact, personally I found that when such things play out in therapy (such as say, you feel rejected by your therapist), it’s a great opportunity to bring it up (and it’s hard!) and discuss it in therapy, because what you learn through it spills over in other relationships as well.
melissa replied to the topic Wondering why a therapist would ask this? (of mild sexual nature) in the forum Something else? Post here!
I just want to mention that when I first started therapy I was asked similar questions by a therapist during intake, which I just chalked up as part of a regular intake, but that therapist turned out to be a very unqualified (not on paper, but behind closed doors) therapist. I would be wary about something like this, and try to do some research on…Read More
By the way, I got totally sidetracked with the “emotional neglect” aspect.
But I just read your original question (as opposed to the OP’s questions, which I was sort of going with), and absolutely.
Inconsistency in care and reliability as a child will bring about anxious attachment.
If it gets the direct “neglect” label, I don’t know, but it’s…Read More
Yes, you know yourself best.
Sometimes in therapy the need for a therapist is a new thing, and so one is desperate to do away with that, and that’s what made me say that it may be an original avoidant-turned-clingy-in-therapy attachment. But it was definitely just my biased, definitely not professional assumption 😉
Thank you for your kind…Read More
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