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    CTab replied to the topic Need guidance in the forum Dealing with Emotions

    I’d strongly suggest getting your husband involved to start some form of dialogue between the two of you. Would be interesting to hear his take on things.

     

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    CTab replied to the topic Anxious about having kids in the forum Anxiety

    Decided to revisit this thread to see what other users had to say and I’m blown away by how supportive you all are!

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    CTab replied to the topic Going Veggie in the forum Just Shmooze

    Saving this for my new year’s resolution!

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    CTab replied to the topic Anxious about having kids in the forum Anxiety

    Well said @Mitchell

  • Shout it from the rooftops! The people need to know!

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    CTab replied to the topic Anxious about having kids in the forum Anxiety

    My mother often told me that she had the same fears during the Cold War. I think it’s actually important that you feel this way because it already show how strongly you would care for your child. If you believe that Love conquers all, then no matter when or where you raise your child, it will be a blessing.

  • That’s exactly it: you’re doing more than distracting yourself from upsetting thoughts or your anxiety. You’re actively changing your train of thought into something proactive and productive.

  • I think the fact that you want, in some way, to empathize and feel anything after what they’ve put you through is a testament to how much you do care (in general)–i’m just happy you aren’t wasting any more energy on them. Anyone who’s been abusive to you in the past isn’t worth a damn.

     

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    CTab replied to the topic Feeling Extremely Single in the forum Relationships

    It breaks my heart to see people get so fixated on getting into a relationship to “complete” themselves, or how others feel sorry and pity those who’ve been single. You’re not going to discover your self worth just because you jump into the arms of the first person who treats you nicely; i’m just worried that with all this stress around…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Being open to colleagues… in the forum Self Care

    This is such a great discussion to have because for all the challenges involved with being open it’s so important that we’re able to vent and go to people with our problems.

    It’s only to our detriment to keep things pent up until we’ve reached a breaking point.

    And one way or another, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable teaches us to trust in…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Feeling Extremely Single in the forum Relationships

    Frankly, if you can’t be comfortable with yourself while single, you aren’t ready to be in a relationship.

    This whole idea that your partner completes you warps peoples’s perspective of their own self-worth. It also puts undue pressure on said partner to help “fix” someone who wasn’t broken in the first place.

    You’re never too old to be “over…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic The Addiction of Codependency in the forum Addiction

    I think the red flag here is how far out of your way you’d be willing to go to please someone who may not be able to reciprocate: that this is itself what validates you; being an asset to someone else. Maybe that means you’re only able to derive value from altruism, but I don’t think this indicates a weakness on your part–just too much of a good…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Feeling Extremely Single in the forum Relationships

    Our twenties and thirties always feel like a race to see who settles down with who first. Everything can still workout when you’re single. Sure people stress finding “the one,” but they never seem to remember all the trial and error it entails.

    I wouldn’t worry about being single unless you feel lonely. Even then, I’d rather friendship over some…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Distraction from anxiety in the forum Anxiety

    My trick is just abruptly changing my train of thought or counting by prime numbers for a while. Anything really to stop myself from overthinking; although when it’s not Shabbat I’m always on my bike and that’s a real lifesaver.

  • Well said!

    When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all–that’s why it’s always easier to know when things go wrong, without also acknowledging that, at the end of the day we’ve still accomplished so much with our lives.

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    CTab replied to the topic Lost Piece of Heart? in the forum Relationships

    Go for it buddy! Like @Banana says, it’s what we’re here for.

  • This seems to be the running trend for dancers and, frankly, I think it’s too high a price to pay for following something you’re clearly passionate in. Not saying it’s the root cause but that’s a pretty toxic environment for someone who’s struggled with anorexia to work in.

    Maybe a small first step to take could be getting rid of your scale?…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Habits in the forum Just Shmooze

    That’s so great to hear how you “failed” your way to eating healthy. Ever so gradually your body started to do the right thing on its own. I noticed how you first wrote that this was something you were doing consciously but then after a few slip ups that wasn’t necessary. I think that’s the point of any habit, really, it becoming…Read More

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    CTab replied to the topic Pittsburg shooting in the forum Trauma

      Every tragedy is a chance to come together as a community and heal. If feel like it’s the only silver lining in all this: that out of such a loss we can still find and renew our faith in each other

  • @avacad0. First, I want to point out that these two points are not the same thing. You don’t need other people’s validation to love yourself. Sometimes we can only find ways to love ourselves when it’s in spite of what others might think of us.

    But it sounds like your way of coping with these feelings is to do everything in your power to “make”…Read More

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