“how should I feel? And also, what should I do or say?”
You should feel what you are feeling, whatever it is. Without edits. If you trust your therapist as a professional (meaning even if you currently feel rejected and hurt and not trusting) and can try to create the mental distance to judge whether you trust she will help you through with this,…Read More
I experience it that way. There is the void from the emotional neglect, the fantasy of someone filling it, the obsessions about the relationship with that someone which acts to fill the hole, compulsions making sure the relationship is still there, shoe isn’t dropping…
You expressed it super clearly:)
Just thought of adding- for people with trauma or growing up with feelings of unsafety, those ‘feelings’ may get stuck in the body, and even once they do the cognitive work ( for example the helpful thought process you explained above), they will still ‘feel’ anxious, because despite their mind ‘getting it’,…Read More
Good for you, Impartial Spirit (nice name btw:))
No, I’m not a parent yet
Thanks, Melissa. Your poem is beautiful and I’m so happy to have discovered your blog!
thank you, Chavy<3
Wrote in the first post that we’ve worked it through in different ways…
Climber started the topic How to stop looking for an external 'parent' and become that on my own in the forum Trauma
I’m sure anyone with childhood wounds can relate to some version of longing for the parent that wasn’t, and the void and pain it left behind.
I’ve been in therapy for awhile and have already grieved the comfort I didn’t receive as a child. I know I am the only one that can soothe and parent myself in that way, at this point in…Read More
Wow, thank you so much Dana, Fay and Michali!
I love all of the ideas mentioned. I’m especially excited about setting a goal (will be an emotional health one for me, I’m not feeling up to spiritual goals yet). I also like the idea of designating someone that will have my back and even someone in a similar situation so that I have a partner, sort…Read More
Those of us who’ve gone through childhood trauma or are experiencing difficult relationships with family members can probably relate to yomim tovim being triggering, sometimes destabilizing, and overall just something that’s supposed to be joyous but is in reality something we can’t wait to get past. And if we do not have much choices but…Read More
@Zipa Leah, can I bother you to give us a teeny tiny summary on the book you recommended, Whole Again? Can’t seem to find much online, and find many of these books redundant, so curious to know about this one before I purchase it.
“Somatic Experiencing is a body-centered approach to treating PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) that, rather than focusing only on thoughts or emotions associated with a traumatic event, expands to include the natural bodily (somatic) responses.”
I just started and it is very helpful
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