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  • Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 126 total)
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    Chany
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    In response to zissy's post #5729:

    Yes yes i think we so undervalue the power of listening. Good for therapists because that’s why they’re in business, lol. But really like truly listening is so difficult but if we can all do a little more of it we’d probably be so much healthier and happier. My takeaway is to listen better! and do other tiny things that are not related necessarily to what the person is saying their going thru if they’re keeping that private.

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    Chany
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    In response to ChumiB's post #5715:

    Thanks for clarifying!

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to ChumiB's post #5706:

    Oh okay lol, thanks for clarifying! She sounds so awesome!

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    Chany
    Participant

    She told me “I don’t want to tell you that you are so brave because that implies that there is something to fear and this isn’t scary – it is life!”

    Wow that sent chills down my spine.

    Q for you –

    so you never struggled with anxiety or depression prior to marriage and the birth of your fist child?

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to ChumiB's post #5694:

    Wow, I love this. and this line

    I don’t personally call it strength I believe it is just courage to push past the vulnerability if that makes sense.

    I would call that courage strength.

     

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    Chany
    Participant

    My grandmother makes a point to check in with me every week and literally reminds me all the time that I have this.

    LOL!

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    Chany
    Participant

    Hey! thanks so much for doing this for us. Do you still feel like people look at you as less than since you’ve been open about your struggles? Or not, since your an influencer in some way?

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to DotingKishke's post #5503:

    I think its a normal anxiety to have and likely your spouse will understand and help walk through rational thinking with you. If he respond negatively it might be an argument worth exploring to help each of you learn to support each other with each other’s “crazinesses” in a most helpful way. NO?

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to Chavy's post #5508:

    Yes- do that, control yourself and keep trying for longer durations, its like a muscle and the more you exercise it the stronger it will become and it will be less tempting. I notice the more i give in to the checking of my phone the stringer the habit becomes the more i refrain initially it’s difficult but then it reaches a point where it gets easier.

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    Chany
    Participant

    @chavy yes it sounds very similar to me. What’s important i think is realizing the cycle and catching yourself prior to looking for it. Not sure if that makes sense. I think we all look for validation its the extremes that are no good. If you feel like you’re doing it to an extreme try stopping yourself once a day or maybe once a week?

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    Chany
    Participant

    Yes it’s so is true. There is so much good and yet our minds are naturally inclined to focus on what is missing to go and pursue that. I once read that we may even think that if we’re grateful for little things we won’t have the drive or desire to go after more and get better things in life. So subconsciously we keep ourselves unhappy and in a lacking state in an effort to fuel us to do more to have a better life but end up miserable in the process.

    I think the trick is to remind myself and perhaps others who feel this way that even from a place of deep gratitude and possibly only from a place of deep will be able to find the strength to go after and accomplish all the rest we want from ourselves and life. Gratitude for the status quo won’t make us numb and lazy it will fuel us to go after and reach our goals while allowing us to enjoy the process and journey. Talking to myself here. Would love to hear your guys thoughts on this.

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to Dr. Joanne Royer's post #5439:

    Yes this is definitely true but easier said than done. I like how you broke that into step one, determine how you want to feel and then what though, think thoughts that will help you feel that way?

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to anonymous's post #5427:

    I would’ve also been relieved lol. You can have mixed emotions and feelings opposite what others “expect”. Remember not everyone is overtly as honest about their feelings which tends to just make the black/white expectations even harder to resist. You don’t need to feel a certain way, just feel and work with what’s there. Awesome that your working this out in therapy.

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    Chany
    Participant

    ha thanks for staring this. Yes, I am grateful for sipping a hot coffee right now with a delicious protein bar and having a few minutes to catch up on emails and check out this site. Taking a moment to realize the gift of these simple pleasures that not everyone is granted turns ordinary into extraordinary. Thanks for the reminder.

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    Chany
    Participant

    Why would you expect yourself to feel sympathy or empathy for someone that put you through so much pain especially if you haven’t worked through all that pain? I think it is an almost impossible ask of yourself. Also feelings are feelings and you can’t force yourself to have them or not have them. I also like and agree with the idea @dotingkishke shared that feeling nothing is a feeling. It sounds like you feel numb from the trauma that this is triggering for you, but also full of guilt for not feeling the feelings others would expect you to feel. Thats a lot of feelings for starters! Try to take off the expectations and allow ourself to feel whatever is there.

    Bottom line the way i see it = you are a caring person!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 126 total)
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