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  • It’s probably the most difficult part of living with anxiety or depression: having to actively be engaged with your emotional state in order to know when to step back and focus on your mental wellbeing. But it can be a real life-saver!

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    Carver replied to the topic The Addiction of Codependency in the forum Addiction

    100% agree with you there. For whose sake should we do our good deeds for? A friend of mine recently mentioned she got into a bit of a heated argument in her English class because she said that people only help others to feel good about themselves. I think on a subconscious level this is true, but whether the “goodness” we feel is derived from…Read More

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    Carver replied to the topic Going Veggie in the forum Just Shmooze

    I’ve tried it on and off over the past couple of years after my doctor recommended it. You have to get really creative with your dressings and the meals you cook because otherwise everything just tastes bland–sort of like going on a juice cleanse, I guess? But if you can handle that it’s supposed to work wonders. I don’t think i’ve ever met an…Read More

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    Carver replied to the topic Being open to colleagues… in the forum Self Care

    This. It’s why people lash out or things spill over into an argument. We can control our feelings to a point, then they start to control us

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    Carver replied to the topic Parenting in the forum Resources

    I was blown away when Rabbi Shimon explained how we know happiness only in relation to our parents.

    It reminded me of a passage in Fight Club where Tyler Durden explains that men look for God in/through their father.

    Then things clicked: how we continue to look at the world through our parents’s eyes, long after we’re through with high chairs…Read More

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    Carver replied to the topic Resources/Referrals in Israel in the forum Addiction

    Sending thoughts and prayers from me and my family.

    I have no idea what you must be going through, but I know you wouldn’t be able to stand it if you didn’t love your daughter so much. Just as Fern says, she’s lucky to be able to call you her mother.

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  • Sounds like the DBT group’s been helping. I’m not sure how easy it is to socialize after coming home from therapy but I think you did the right thing by distracting yourself with writing, etc.

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    Carver replied to the topic The Addiction of Codependency in the forum Addiction

    I think this says it all. It sounds like a form of projection where you so desperately believe that helping others is the only way to help–or to at least distract–yourself.

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    Carver replied to the topic Habits in the forum Just Shmooze

    A quick google shows that it takes about 2 months or 66 days to make something habitual, or automatic. I think a lot of people might be put off by this because of where we all start off–Day Zero–and the finish line feels hidden behind some impossible advent calendar. But all things are possible through faith: believing in yourself is half the…Read More

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    Carver replied to the topic Perfectionism in the forum Dealing with Emotions

    Being a perfectionist doesn’t mean you’re working towards that “perfect” version of yourself. It simply means you can’t tolerate the imperfections that make you, you. These quotes really cut to the quick of why a perfectionist can only be perfect from someone else’s point of view. There’s this divorce from reality that’s similar to the standards…Read More

  • It’s funny how the most thankless jobs are also some of the most important.

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    Carver replied to the topic Distraction from anxiety in the forum Anxiety

    @hypercell57 Have you checked out the latest article? Seems like it would be right up your alley. Personally I try to meet up with friends or call them up whenever I need to take my mind off of things, have you tried that?

  • No truer words have been spoken. Incredible.

     

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    Carver replied to the topic Motivation in the forum Self Care

    Really good point on the relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions in regards to procrastination. Would you say then that procrastination is a form of thoughtlessness, or just idleness?

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    Carver replied to the topic Lost Piece of Heart? in the forum Relationships

    @Wandering Jew, have you made any more jewelry? What’s happened since you first posted?

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    Carver replied to the topic Motivation in the forum Self Care

    INVEST IN A PLANNER! I can’t tell you how helpful it was for me over the summer; just a real lifesaver. I went from sleeping in until noon to waking up knowing exactly what had to be done that day. Being able to check off something as small as making your bed or watering the plants’ll give you this sense of progress and accomplishment. It will…Read More

  • This is something that’s been on my mind for WEEKS now. While I don’t think there’s some de facto way to curb our anger towards G-d (if or whenever the situation arises), it being a sort of natural reaction, what’s most important is recognizing when we are angry and taking steps to calm ourselves down. We shouldn’t suppress our anger even when…Read More

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    Carver replied to the topic Unaware of ones depression in the forum Depression

    And that can sometimes be the hardest part–but you’ll never know if you don’t try!

    Well said

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    Carver replied to the topic Lost Piece of Heart? in the forum Relationships

    The entire point of intimacy is giving or surrendering yourself up to somebody that you care for. From what I’ve read it seems like without you realizing it this is what happened. And now you feel as if–because she was the first–there’ll be no second chance to have what you both shared with someone else.

    That simply isn’t true my friend.

    You…Read More

  • Agh! Curse comparisonitis. Sometimes it feels like all my brain has time to do is question why I’m not “better than,” or “as good as” someone, especially after a few hours of tossing and turning in bed. But a lot of the comments on this thread hit the nail on the head: it’s a rabbit hole you don’t want to get lost in. Even if it’s something we’re…Read More

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