skip to Main Content

This topic has been reported for inappropriate content

  • Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Profile Photo
    avacad0
    Participant

    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>As I sit here and contemplate</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Trying of my inner world a semblance of normalcy to create</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I feel engulfed in huge sadness</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Feelings of utter despair and bleakness</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My feelings are like a huge boulder</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Making me feel every day older and older</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I feel incapacitated and depleted</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>From joy and peace I feel cheated</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Although I know that the layers have to be dissected</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>In order to build things first need to be erected</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>So that I have a foundation from iron and steel</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To feel safe and to finally feel</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I feel so much chaos deep inside</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Trying so hard my pain to hide</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep forging ahead</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To keep trudging along when my heart is full of dread</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I have to do a full gut cleaning</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Before my life takes on any emotional meaning</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I need to go to places that are scary and full of pain</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Which leaves me feeling exposed and in deep shame</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My childhood was far from a piece of cake</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I was forced to be very mature as my heart continued to break</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I was robbed of carefreeness and being under motherly care</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Always in charge, lending a hand or listening ear</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My mother was under my jurisdiction</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I took care of all her needs to a perfection</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>It became my lifetime’s mission</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My mother should have everything running smooth to a precision</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>But along the way I became smaller and smaller</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>As my mother grew taller and taller</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>All my accomplishments became hers to keep</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>She smiled through life while I continued to weep</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I became invisible to the human eye</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Working myself to the bones as I continued on the inside to cry</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>She was successful and great</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>While I was a slave in a terrible state</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I took care of everyone and everything that they need</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>While I continued my mothers ego to feed</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My siblings were my children to mother and nourish</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I spent nights worrying about them in concern and anguish</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I was a in a childs body but in a motherly role</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Trying so hard to keep the family intact and whole</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>My mind continued to brainstorm every way</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>Of how the family can continue to function every day</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>It took lots of fortitude and creativity</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To accomplish this feat ultimately</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>But I paid a price so heavy, it left me reeling and so alone</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I need to repair all the damage to function on my own</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>I need to rip out all the thorns and weeds</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To take care of all my neglected needs</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To look deep inside</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To salvage a shred of my lost pride</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To reclaim all that I have lost</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>At a very heavy cost</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To rebuild from the start</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>A happy and content heart</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>And to finally feel free</p>
    <p style=”font-weight: 400;”>To live life the way it was meant to be</p>

    Profile Photo
    avacad0
    Participant
    Topic Author

     

    As I sit here and contemplate

    Trying of my inner world a semblance of normalcy to create

    I feel engulfed in huge sadness

    Feelings of utter despair and bleakness

    My feelings are like a huge boulder

    Making me feel every day older and older

    I feel incapacitated and depleted

    From joy and peace I feel cheated

    Although I know that the layers have to be dissected

    In order to build things first need to be erected

    So that I have a foundation from iron and steel

    To feel safe and to finally feel

    I feel so much chaos deep inside

    Trying so hard my pain to hide

    I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep forging ahead

    To keep trudging along when my heart is full of dread

    I have to do a full gut cleaning

    Before my life takes on any emotional meaning

    I need to go to places that are scary and full of pain

    Which leaves me feeling exposed and in deep shame

    My childhood was far from a piece of cak

    I was forced to be very mature as my heart continued to break

    I was robbed of carefreeness and being under motherly care

    Always in charge, lending a hand or listening ear

    My mother was under my jurisdiction

    I took care of all her needs to a perfection

    It became my lifetime’s mission

    My mother should have everything running smooth to a precision

    But along the way I became smaller and smaller

    As my mother grew taller and taller

    All my accomplishments became hers to keep

    She smiled through life while I continued to weep

    I became invisible to the human eye

    Working myself to the bones as I continued on the inside to cry

    She was successful and great

    While I was a slave in a terrible state

    I took care of everyone and everything that they need

    While I continued my mothers ego to feed

    My siblings were my children to mother and nourish

    I spent nights worrying about them in concern and anguish

    I was a in a childs body but in a motherly role

    Trying so hard to keep the family intact and whole

    My mind continued to brainstorm every way

    Of how the family can continue to function every day

    It took lots of fortitude and creativity

    To accomplish this feat ultimately

    But I paid a price so heavy, it left me reeling and so alone

    I need to repair all the damage to function on my own

    I need to rip out all the thorns and weeds

    To take care of all my neglected needs

    To look deep inside

    To salvage a shred of my lost pride

    To reclaim all that I have lost

    At a very heavy cost

    To rebuild from the start

    A happy and content heart

    And to finally feel free

    To live life the way it was meant to be

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)

You must be logged in to to reply to this topic. Not a member yet? Register now!

Back To Top