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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    One of my best friends just started seeing this guy that she is head over heals for. I’m happy for her, I am, but all she does is talk about what they do together and how cute he is and how sweet he is and how much she likes him and misses him. As per my “feeling single” post that i had wrote about way back when, it’s just so hard to hear all this and not have anyone myself. it just makes me feel more single and more alone and lose hope in finding someone. Should I say something or just keep going along with it??!!?! Help!!!

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    Mitchell
    Participant

    I completely get what you’re saying. When one of my best friends started dating someone while I was single, it was all he would talk about, and it just made feel more and more insecure about being single. I think if you really want to you could say something, but I think this will pass on its own. It’s a new relationship and she’s excited! Of course, she wants to talk about him all the time. But as their relationship progresses I think she’ll get out of that initial head over heels phase and stop obsessing over him to you. However, if you really feel like it’s a problem, there’s no harm in telling her how you feel.

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    Suave
    Admin

    One of my best friends … I’m happy for her, I am

    First of all, you may have answered your own question… Be happy for her. Always. Unconditionally.  She is on a high peak, help her stay there & if g-d forbid she starts losing altitude, be there for her – regardless of your own feelings.

    Second, Your feelings are important and should not be ignored – but at this pivotal point in your relationship with her, I think it’s wise to share your feelings with someone else rather than her. You don’t want her to have to chose between being happy for her own situation versus being sad for yours.

    Your friend’s win should never be your loss. Sometimes we just have to be takers more than givers. Take pleasure in the fact that you are giving her your love & attention.

    Most of my best friends are married with kids & I often feel as if I am the last unpicked flower in the garden, I feel like I am starting to wilt & wither, few ever stop to admire me anymore…But I know that soon enough i’ll be picked & placed in a gorgeous bouquet.

    Your time will come BE’H and she will hopefully be happy for you regardless of her own relationship status.

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    avacad0
    Participant

    Totally agree with @suave. I went through a certain challenge where it was painful for me to see close family and friends moving on in this area while I stayed stuck. I felt enormous pain. But I didn’t feel it appropriate to tell them because then it would mar their joy. I did share it with different people out of the setting. I b”h moved on and it made me into a much stronger person.

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    RomanticYente
    Participant
    Topic Author

    wow, thank you so much for all this advice. You’re all totally right. I have to realize that my time will come and be the good friend to her that she needs. that is part of being a good friend

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    DotingKishke
    Participant

    I agree with @suave. I think you answered your own question. You just have to be a good friend to her and keep the faith that things will work out for you when they are supposed to

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to DotingKishke's post #5916:

    Yep, I’m also in agreement with @suave and with all the above mentioned. Each of our times will come and no one is taking away any good that we’re meant to have. I find this helpful to tell myself when I find myself becoming jealous of a friend/family member that has a happy occasion.

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    Mitchell
    Participant

    In response to Chavy's post #5924:

    I agree. I find it helpful to keep in mind that none of this is happening to “me”. No one is being successful in life and relationships because they want to make me jealous, it’s because they’re trying to be happy. And I should just be happy for them that they’re getting there.

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