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  • This topic has 49 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Profile PhotoCTab.
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    anonymous
    Participant

    Hi, I have a 3 year old that does not like to eat. He won’t touch any type of chicken, meat, fish, soup, and almost no vegetables! He usually ends up eating either dairy (like cream cheese bread, yogurt, pizza) or scrambled eggs, or plain pasta, even that very little. His weight is perfect for his height on the chart, although he is petite. At home I never pushed him to eat, but in school (they have school lunch) his teacher does try to get him to eat, and would sometimes feed him. My question is, is it necessary, or beneficial to try to push him to eat other food? If yes, any tips?

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    Banana
    Participant

    Hi anonymous!

    I’m no expert on the topic but just want to share my thoughts. I myself was extremely picky (very similar to the way in which you describe your son) until I was in my teens probably. I slowly started eating chicken (funny story how I was tricked into trying it – I was told it was fried fish 🙂 ) and then meat and then salmon etc. Today, although I’m still a picky eater, I think I eat enough foods to live a healthy life and I am still trying new foods.

    I think it’s very common for kids to choose dairy over healthier meat products. I wouldn’t be concerned about this with such a young child. I would also softly tell the teacher not to push him too much eat something he doesn’t want. Just very gently. You and the teacher can offer him incentives for eating (or even trying) healthy foods he normal wouldn’t (a treat for dessert, read him a book, an extra nosh). But I certainly don’t feel like it’s something to worry about – especially at such a young age – and as you mentioned that his weight is normal. Hatzlacha!

     

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    anonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Hi Banana, Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I am going to discuss it with his teacher, and wanted to hear more sides sort of, thanks.

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    Chany
    Participant

    hey anonymous, yes i totally hear the struggle and completely agree with banana. I think there is ample time for children to develop an appetite for healthier options as long as they are around others who are eating these varieties. I would suggest you kindly ask the teacher to back off if she is being forceful and rather allow the child to eat what he likes while modeling healthier options through your own plate and other children if possible. Theres a great book called Take the fight out of food, https://www.amazon.com/Take-Fight-Out-Food-Problems/dp/0743477790

    Its a super helpful guide on how parents can become aware and manage their own anxiety regarding their children’s eating patterns while not sabotaging their physical and emotional health.

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    Banana
    Participant

    My pleasure @anonymous! So happy to be able to able to share my story and be of help 🙂 That’s what we’re on this awesome for.

     


    @Chany
    , beautifully written 🙂

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    anonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Thanks Chany for your input, I was a bit confused if maybe i have it wrong, And I will check the book out, appreciate it.</p>

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    Anonymous, your concern sounds right-sized.

    If your child was only eating junk food, that may be a problem. Even then, it doesn’t last forever.

    Something I’ve learned (and this may sound harsh) is that no kid ever died from skipping one meal. This was in regards to picky teens, but the idea being that if they’re healthy and decide not to eat a meal, don’t panic.

    With your child being a healthy size and weight, don’t panic.

    Keep asking questions as we only learn to parent if we remain curious!

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    Banana
    Participant

    Anonymous, your concern sounds right-sized. If your child was only eating junk food, that may be a problem. Even then, it doesn’t last forever. Something I’ve learned (and this may sound harsh) is that no kid ever died from skipping one meal. This was in regards to picky teens, but the idea being that if they’re healthy and decide not to eat a meal, don’t panic. With your child being a healthy size and weight, don’t panic. Keep asking questions as we only learn to parent if we remain curious!

    Beautifully written once again! Love the last paragraph!

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    Thanks again for the positive feedback!

    In general, the whole idea of ‘remaining curious’ is new to me. My therapist encourages me to remain curious about my thoughts, my feelings, reactions, interactions and just about everything. It’s often hard but it has led me to so many insights about myself instead of inner judgements.

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    anonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thank you, I too love the “keep asking  questions”. Sometimes just by phrasing the question, even without getting a reply, we get to rethink, and see things in more than one way.

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    I’m glad you found it helpful.

    So what did/n’t he eat last night?

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    anonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    He actually ate chicken nuggets!! I did it in  long thin crispy pieces,  he helped me prepare it, and decided they look like a “fire hose” ! he even wanted more.

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    Nice! I love how you involved him in the process!

    You made the effort and the results followed. It doesn’t always work that way, but I’m glad it did this time.

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    Banana
    Participant

    Congrats on that great idea with the chicken nuggets!!

    when you guys mention about “being curious” and “asking questions” – what do you mean by that? What are some examples? I’m curious (see what I did there – lol)

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    Good question.

    When something happens in my life, there a variety of ways I can process it. For many years, it would be with obsessive thinking about it, perhaps over analyzing it, or maybe some negative (or positive?) self-talk. Lately, I’ve been trying to observe myself instead of trying to tell myself what I could or should be doing.

    So for example, my daughter can be complaining about something and it is irritating me; I may react to it in any number of ways. I can take note of how I’m reacting and that will tell me a lot about myself and where I need to grow.

    I can also take note of how I’m growing! Recently I made a wrong turn in traffic and I laughed at myself – in a healthy way. And then I realized what a change that was from an earlier version of me where I may have cursed at myself.

    It’s hard to expound on it on the fly typing on my phone. But lucky for all that I’m not speaking as I could talk about if for quite a while :)!

    I’d be happy to answer any more questions if you’d like.

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