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    Hope
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m in therapy now and have a great therapist that I like. However, I’m constantly thinking about her during the week and miss her so much to the point where it is too much for me and it’s overwhelming me. It’s taking away from my normal functioning. I’m either thinking about her or replaying the last session we had. I don’t know what to do about this. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me and I feel ashamed to bring it up to my therapist. I don’t want to think about her anymore but I can’t make the thoughts disappear. Sometimes I think of ending therapy because of how overwhelming it is during the week. It’s like therapy is the center of my life. Has anyone experienced this before or have any advice on what I can do please?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    @Hope,

    How did you know I struggle with this too??
    Lol!!

    You are SO not alone! There was actually a whole thread on this – about being enmeshed with your therapist.

    Are the thoughts stemming from OCD? Is it that you want her love and care? It makes so much sense of you answered “yes.”
    I would say to validate it and instead of fighting the feeling, maybe try to sit with it as if you’re sitting with a little girl, and try to get to know why you keep replaying your sessions and thinking about her.

    Do you want her love? Could you know that she really cares for you and “borrow” her love?

    As I’m typing this, I’m realizing that there’s probably something much deeper that’s playing here. It could be that you’re craving her unconditional regard for you and just can’t get enough of that. I know that for myself.

    And, I totally understand the shame, but I believe that telling her will bring a lot of insight. Together, you could talk about this dynamic and how to address it on a professional level.

    Last, I want to reiterate how important it is to sit with the feelings, hold space for them, and validate it. You may find that it takes the edge off, and you may find that it doesn’t. But most of all, don’t judge your judging!

    I hope this was helpful!!

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    ysm1234
    Participant

    Chavy, Wow. That was an amazing post.

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    Hope
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thank you Chavy! This is very helpful.

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    Openminded
    Participant

    I have these feelings also the ones you say were youre therapy session very tough and emotionall all i could say to is stay as strong as possible i feel your pain to the amount that i could

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    Climber
    Participant

    Hope,

    I just want to say that I feel you deeply and that you are VERY normal. I had the exact same experience for a long while, and am still experiencing this, however with more awareness.

    Your feelings could be coming from a million different places. Not to be too tough on you, but you won’t find out if you don’t try to explore it;) Try bringing it up with your therapist, if you trust him/her. You don’t have to go all out. Try explaining some of it? Email him/her about it? Show him/her this thread?

    Personally, I found that this experience for me stems from a combination of-

    • Preoccupied attachment due to childhood wounds
    • Relationship OCD
    • A deeper rescue fantasy for someone to fill my holes all the way
    • Insecure attachment patterns due to enmeshment growing up
    • a lack of self

    Sounds all figured out, right?

    Lol, my point is, it gets easier, if you treat it like something that deserves to be explored. It actually takes your therapy to a much deeper level as these feelings are most likely coming from a very young and deserving-of-attention (for lack of better phrase) place.

    Leave your shame at home and bring your questions into session. Rooting for you

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    Hope
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Hi climber,

    Thank you so much for your message. It makes me feel less alone to know someone else experienced the same feelings. I will try my best to bring up with my therapist. Wish me luck

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    Climber
    Participant

    In response to Hope's post #12692:

    In response to Hope's post #12692:

    I do wish you luck

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    Chavy
    Participant

    I’m actually feeling very intensely right now and practically all day today about seeing my therapist because I have a cold. If I can’t see her in person, I would have to see her virtually, but it’s so not the same at all! I just want her love, care and understanding! Today was pretty miserable and hard and I hope I won’t be this way till my next session!!
    I would appreciate validation.

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    Hope
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Hi Chavy,

    I’m so sorry you won’t be able to see her in person for your next session. I really feel you and I know that it’s really hard. Virtual sessions are not the same as in person at all.  I would say to try journaling your thoughts and feelings and don’t be hard on yourself because it really is hard. I hope you feel better and you’re  able to see her in person next session.

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    Chavy
    Participant

    Thank you @hope!!

    I really appreciate that. So I don’t know for sure yet if I’m seeing her virtually or in person. I’m going to decide the night of my appointment.

    I would love to be more accepting of my strong feelings but I have so much judgment from my parents. I mean, they didn’t say anything mean, but they just approached it in a logical way as in that I’m overreacting.
    Also, any ideas of how to deal with the (almost) constant crying? Im just very scared that my eyes will water by work because sometimes the tears just come and it’s extremely hard to control it. I haven’t had this in a while – being nervous about crying at work, but being that my emotions are very intense, the tears could just come at any slight trigger.

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    Openminded
    Participant

    Feel the same alot my tears and strong emotions could come very quickly.one thing i try to do is channel it to the best of my ability to use the tears to pray to hashem and tears by hashem are very important

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to Openminded's post #12719:

    Thank you, @nachum for that validation! I’m relieved to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with strong emotions and crying a lot during very difficult times.

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