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Living with a narcissistic family member can have devastating effects on your emotional and physical wellbeing.
The relationship is usually stormy and confusing and follows patterns of love bombing and abuse. The abuse may be verbal, physical or emotional, and often really subtle and difficult to pinpoint.
Feelings like fear, shame, self doubt and confusion are amongst the many that plague survivors of such relationships. If one shares/shared an intimate relationship with the narc, or lived with them for an extended period of time, they might also experience moderate to extreme PTSD symptoms. The effects can be devastating for mind, body and soul.
Sometimes, leaving and cutting ties is the first step toward healing. Often that’s not an option and one chooses to stay. In any event, healing the pain is possible . It takes courage and strength and lots of trust and patience… A good therapist that is experienced in treating trauma, abuse and relationship issues , can help you process the pain and confusion and hopefully help you move toward a thriving better life.
Share your experience here. Tell us how you deal with this difficult reality. Let others know that they’re not alone. That you get them…
Hey! I really resonate with a lot of what you wrote here!
I also have a family member who has had a tremendous impact on me emotionally. I’ve recently started going to therapy to heal from a lot of traumatic experiences I had from this family member.
I’ve experienced a lot of self blame, self doubt, confusion, PTSD symptoms, that affect so many areas of my life
I often worry that one day I’ll have to cutt of ties from her completely.
Dealing with a narcissistic family member can often be painful and traumatic. Each of us, as individuals, needs to feel that we’re worthwhile and that our lives have meaning and purpose. The narcissistic family member (or friend) often does a good job at undermining our belief in ourselves as good, purposeful individuals. The narcissistic family member replaces feelings of positivity and worth with feelings of worthlessness and negativity. But, be that as it may, that person, rather than being viewed as an obstacle, can be viewed as a springboard, a catalyst, for developing desirable qualities in ourselves that wouldn’t have been possible without the hardship provided. Qualities such as forbearance, patience, and empathy. Not easy, but possible. I know of many people who have overcome and grown from their relationship(s) with narcissistic family members through the help of 12-Step programs such as Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA), therapy, as well as lots of time devoted to self-care and personal-development. But perhaps the main thing for getting through things in the here-and-now is to treat yourself well, be kind to yourself, and everyday, do something just for you. As always, feel free to reach out and I’ll do my best to answer more questions or to elaborate on this question/answer.
hi
As well said anove dealing with narcissist abuse is the worst and one of the important steps is to have a good terapist to help you go deal with it. Can anyone recommend a therapist who proved himself to be super helpful?
Im trying to help someone who is dealing with a narcissist spouse and that person is already deeply affected if you have any reference it would really help
Thanks
In response to jcgldr's post #11537:
So sorry to hear!
There are some great therapists dealing with this. In which country? male or female? must be chareidi, or is secular an option?
Sending you love and strength!
Im looking for someone in Brooklyn NY (or in vicinity) preferably frum female. but the main im looking is someone who canget the situation quickly and the disect the real iasue from the garbage and help the person move eiter out of the relationship or fix the relationship if possible
Im not interested in sending that person to a therapist for years
Hi jcgldr,
Living with someone who is narcissistic can be really challenging and painful, especially a spouse. I get it.
You have already taken a first step of empowerment by reaching out over here. Kudos to you.
I strongly believe that YOU CAN have a life full of happiness and peace, and build an intimate and passionate relationship with your husband no matter what.
I have a passion to help miserable women become truthfully happy in their life and relationships.
How will you continue to empower yourself to reach your goal?
I acknowledge you for coming here for support and rooting for your continued journey towards happiness.
In response to Rivky Dasheff's post #11551:
Thank you
Do you have any professional to recommend who specializes in dealing with that?
I offer a free Discovery Call to see if we are the right fit for each other.
In response to jcgldr's post #11552:
Hi, Lisa Twerski, LCSW is an excellent therapist in Brooklyn with years of experience in this area. She helped a relative of mine and I highly recommend her. She is a renowned expert on domestic abuse.
Chaya Chanowitz is a fantastic therapist who is highly experienced in this area. She practices in Boro Park and Flatbush.
HI!
I first applaud you for reaching out here and for not taking blame for other people’s misbehavior!
In addition to therapy, what I found extremely validating, supportive, clarifying and as a tool box for survival, is reading the book WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. It was recomended by a professional and I bought it on Amazon.
I wish you smooth healing and a thriving life ❤
For those who are looking for a little more information on the topic, there is a wonderful book that helped me immensely in my own healing journey. It’s an easy enough read (i.e. no complicated language or terminology), and it changed my life so much that I bought my own copy and gave a presentation on it.
(Note: this is of course not a substitute for actual therapy/professional assistance.)
Thank you all for your support and references
Its hard to describe how useful any little info is in such a critical area
