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    WhatsAppers
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    My friend just told me she lost her pregnancy .
    How can I be supportive and sensitive?
    What is the right thing to say or not to say?

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    WhatsAppers
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    Empathy is the first route to go, reflecting on her feelings, telling her in your words what she must be feeling and try to help her believe better outcome is on its way.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Give her a hug

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    @iwassupposedtohaveababy – I was supposed to have a baby on Instagram talks about it what to say what not to say, how to be supportive, etc.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Tell her it’s part of bringing children. Sometimes it works til the end and sometimes not. Most people that have a bunch of kids have gone through some kind of pregnancy loss. So it’s normal and hopefully the next time it will work out.also I heard that when moshiach comes all these babies that we lost will come back to us. Another thought is every minute we carried this neshama from the first second helps him gain olam haba and he will be in a higher place just bec he was in this world in some form.

    -Anomymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    [First name], sending my sincerest sympathy. Please let me know how I can be helpful

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    I usually don’t chime in cuz generally find others have better advice. Here I am freshly experienced. I can tell you not to say it cud have been worse! For her now this is huge (probably the worst it can be)

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    She’s most likely in a ton of pain right now. Let her know that your there for her and listen! It’s important for her to be able to have someone to talk to about her grief and pain when she’s ready.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Don’t ever say it was meant to be, or say that maybe the baby would have had health issues and hashem took that pain away.
    Don’t say it’s what hashem wanted.
    Sometimes the above mentioned comments are thought to help but they don’t. It delegitimizes the pregnancy and the loss felt.
    Just be there for her. Tell her you are there for her and that you are sorry for her loss.
    Nothing can be said to make the pain better but it helps to have support.
    Also maybe send her lunch, dinner, or a care package with wine, chocolate, and ice cream….etc.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    To comfort with the fact that it’s hard and sad but usually these babies are not healthy

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #10139:

    Just in my opinion- that last advice on here is not going to help comfort someone who is in emended pain. Most people don’t want to hear that it’s ok, and it happens to many people. They know that and they just want you to cry with them.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Sometimes the best thing to do is be there but give her space you rlly have to play by ear

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    There are no words that can console someone grieving. Sometimes it’s just your presence they need and the knowledge you are here. So affirm it, tell them you can’t imagine what they’re going through, but you’ll help them and be right there for anything. Nothing you say can make her feel better, you can only try to explain that you are there. Sit in the dark with her until the light comes (which it of course does, time does heal), hand her the tissues, give her the space and stay quiet. Silence really is a virtue especially when it comes to pregnancy loss. Ask her if you can help her in any way and understand what she wants and needs before you decide for her and possibly hurt her even more. Nobody’s saying it’s easy- it’s not. Watching someone you care about suffer is hard but your simple presence and care will be so so appreciated

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Carrying a pregnancy is a huge deal in and of itself. Hashem has to bring these neshamos down for a little while for reasons we dont know. I had 2 pretty late in the pregnancy and encouraging things would be:
    I am so sorry, it must be so hard.
    I am here for you whenever you feel like talking about it ….
    And just listen.
    Send over some food ahe really likes like chocolate or some other treat to make her feel special.
    Dont say things like:
    You are better off this way, the baby would probably not have been normal.
    Dont worry, i am sure you will have another one soon.
    Everyone goes thru this, its normal.
    Those things make away with the intense pain that the person is feeling.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Treat it like any loss. Saying sorry for your loss, send meals or goodies, or gift cards for self care are good options.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 36 total)

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