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    Joseph
    Participant

    I am so depressed and I feel so hopeless

    Is there anyone that can give me hope And a reason to live

    My mind was completely destroyed about 9 month ago due to a major depressive episode and now I am just lifeless low energy overweight and very low self esteem I feel like here’s no point of living anymore

    I see people all around me looking good and successful and also I am suffering because I feel I should be in Yeshiva like all my friends and brothers. And I have to work …

    please someone give me chiZuk

    thank you !

     

    I’m sorry you’re feeling this badly and glad you reached out for help.

    If you feel suicidal please please call

    1800 SUICIDE

    1(800)784-2433

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    Joseph
    Participant
    Topic Author

    I’m not really suicidal I just feel hopeless

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    Chavy
    Participant

    I really really feel your pain. It’s enormous and feels like it’s too much for you. I have felt that way too. It does get better. I know you may not believe it, but it does get better. “Yeshuas Hashem K’heref Ayin.” Hashems salvation can come with the blink of an eye. Even as you go through your tremendous pain, Hashem is with you, right  with you!

    Please do not give up on getting help even if your previous experiences weren’t great.  You owe it to yourself and you’re worthy of getting the help you need. There are many many competent and excellent therapist that are very dedicated to there job.

    There are many therapists listed on Okclarity as well as organizations like Relief that can guide you to find the right Shaliach (messenger) for you.

    Please keep us posted! We’re here for you 🙂

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    Joseph
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Ok thank you so much !

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    Banana
    Participant

    In response to Joseph's post #6562:

    I really really feel your pain. It’s enormous and feels like it’s too much for you. I have felt that way too. It does get better. I know you may not believe it, but it does get better. “Yeshuas Hashem K’heref Ayin.” Hashems salvation can come with the blink of an eye. Even as you go through your tremendous pain, Hashem is with you, right with you! Please do not give up on getting help even if your previous experiences weren’t great. You owe it to yourself and you’re worthy of getting the help you need. There are many many competent and excellent therapist that are very dedicated to there job. There are many therapists listed on Okclarity as well as organizations like Relief that can guide you to find the right Shaliach (messenger) for you. Please keep us posted! We’re here for you ?

    +1000 to everything Chavy said. We are here for you and cheering you on. Please take care of yourself and find a therapist – there are clinics that more than likely accept your insurance and you wouldn’t need to pay anything or a small copay. Buy yourself something nice and do good things for yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not being in yeshiva or for anything. We each have our journey in life. Take yours with grace. Hatzlacha and keep us posted on your journey.

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    Joseph
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thank you everyone for giving me chiZuk

    i really appreciate it

    I just find life to be so so hard and I don’t see it getting any better

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    Banana
    Participant

    In response to Joseph's post #6570:

    Did you take any steps to start seeing a therapist? There are some great ones out there that can for sure help you. We just need to find you the right fit. If you can afford private, check out the OKclarity directory. Otherwise, try OHEL or Pesach Tikvah clinics.

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to Banana's post #6573:

    Here are some links to make it easier for you:

    You can also try the Jewish Board. Here’s the link: https://jewishboard.org/

    Heres OHELs link like Banana mentioned: https://www.ohelfamily.org/?q=mental_health/services_overview

    And here’s Petach Tikvas site: http://www.pesachtikvah.org/

    I hope this helps you!

     

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    Joseph
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Ok thank you all so very much

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    splitandtrying2bme
    Participant

    Anyone around here to be supportive for a minute?

    I didn’t harm myself in a couple of months, and tonight I just did it…

    Its not even feeling like I’m so depressed, maybe because I am not feeling so much at the moment, but like I am functioning and all and at the same time really needed to hurt myself and having suicidal thoughts. So it just feels strange. I wonder what kind of state my brain is in right now, when I’m feeling aware, but I also dont think I’m in my regular self cuz I wouldn’t be harming and thinking suicidal thoughts…anyway hope this doesn’t sound too weird.

    If anyone can lend their thoughts I would appreciate it.

    thanks.

    In response to splitandtrying2bme's post #7506:

    @split

    So sorry, just seeing this now. Whatever emotion you were experiencing it must have been very powerful & overwhelming.

    Sometimes our body acts before our brain and jumps to do something when we feel ‘off’ even if that something isn’t very helpful for us in the long term, we try to alleviate our distress through the quickest thing.

    Congratulate yourself for the gains you’ve made the past few months and maybe record a voice note to self with encouragement for the feat to play back when you feel down.

    All the best!

     

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    zissy
    Participant

    Im no proffesional , reaching out to the right channel might aid you even more  .perhaps the harming came bec you might have actually wanted to FEEL something amidsts the lonliness and pain clouding your heart . its good that your aware ..perhaps asking your therapist for tools on how to deal with what ever triggered these thoughts can help you not go down that path of self harm .

    Hello,

    It seems notifications are down so sorry for the delay in responding to you. It sounds like you are going through a tough time right now. What you are describing may have been triggered by something or it may be strictly chemical. Regardless of the cause it should be treated as you would treat any other symptom that is hurting you. For some reason your emotions have spiked and that is your bodies way of letting you know that something needs attention. What is your body telling you? Do you need someone to talk to? More self care?  Professional intervention? Try to listen to what you are being told and/or ask someone to help you understand.

    I hope things have taken an upward spin since you sent this first message.

    Chaya Rochel

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    Ari Sytner
    Participant

    I just want to chime in and express how brave you are for reaching out! These feelings you have are, in fact, quite complicated and the most important thing is to never deal with them alone.  The feelings of wanting to hurt oneself or end one’s life are always temporary and the key is to have the support and help to get through it. There are many amazing people out there that are ready to take you by the hand and help you through this time period so you can best iron out your emotions.

    Don’t ever hesitate to just make a phone call. Fay said it best:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling this badly and glad you reached out for help. If you feel suicidal please please call 1800 SUICIDE 1(800)784-2433

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