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    GreatLuck
    Participant
    I changed therapist since I couldn’t stop thinking of her, would do anything to get her attention.  I was really frustrated with myself and thought by changing it will solve the problem. Now that I changed I still can’t get her off my mind. I keep wondering maybe I should consider going back to her. Would that be an option and why would I be having such strong feelings towards my therapist?
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    Chavy
    Participant

    Hi!!

    I actually feel and felt the same way towards my previous therapist. I reveried her, looked up to her and basically put her on a pedestal. I had a funny combination: I was obsessed with her and felt intimidated. I think my intimidated feelings came from my perception of her confidence. She came across as very assured and that was threatening to me.

    In terms of your question, maybe you admire something positive about her that you would like to possess or feel? Maybe she carries herself confidently? Maybe she’s very charismatic? Maybe she reminds you of someone? It could be anything

    One other thing might be to explore the nature of your thoughts about her. Is there another emotion that comes when you feel yourself thinking about her?

    Hope this helps!!

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    undecided
    Participant

    Hey @GreatLuck, those are some tough emotions and thoughts to be dealing with…

    And also completely normal; clients often have strong feelings for/about their therapists and wanting their attention. Therapy is a unique relationship, and often it’s the first time that you are receiving that kind of attention and attunement to your needs, which can leave you wanting more. It’s like when you eat something that you’ve never had before, and you thoroughly enjoy it; now you’ve acquired the taste and you want more. When we open ourselves up to receiving care in a way that we’ve not gotten it before, we find that we want more of it.

    Or, like @Chavy mentioned, maybe she reminds you of someone-someone you wanted to impress, someone who you look up to, etc, and if you didn’t get that attention from that person, you now are trying to get it from her.

    And that’s okay.

    I’m curious-did you ever discuss those feelings with your past therapist? Was she aware of your feelings toward/about her? Did you tell her why you were ending with her? What about with your current therapist? Would you be comfortable exploring that with her, or not really? One of the most important, valuable aspects of therapy is the relationship between therapist and client, but that requires being honest in your feelings about your therapist…

    It’s not the most comfortable conversation to have, and it requires quite a bit of courage, but it’s definitely a conversation worth having!

    B’hatzlacha!

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    Balance123
    Participant

    Hi,

    I totally get where you are coming from. I’ve been there and done that and still do sometimes. Have you ever heard of the concept of client-therapist transference?

    Perhaps google it and see what you can find. I definitely helped me a lot and gave me a lot of understanding.

    also, if you don’t feel like this to this therapist, maybe you can discuss it with her?

    let me know if it helps!!

    best of luck!

    These feelings you had about your therapist were actually a very good sign. The “why” of it is too complicated for this forum. However,  when this happens, it’s something to bring up in session.

    Dear GreatLuck.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    This is a highly sensitive topic and can come up in Many settings.

    The therapist client relationship is unique in that it requires tremendous vulnerability to work and that can feel like a one way street (even though it’s not).

    When working on deep issues and we make progress we often feel like we want someone to witness everything in between, even though that’s not possible.
    The fact that you want to share everything w.her indicates your high level of regard for her which can help boost you.
    It’s on the two of you though to not let it turn into a dependence tho.

    I’d explore if there are others who have or had similar feelings about and learn from those experiences.

     

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