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    I’m gonna come out and say this….


    I am:


    popular yet lonely,

    Always smiling yet sad,

    Look alive yet dead inside,


    Ok….. I’m done.



    Thanks for listening.



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    Can definitely relate. I recently wrote up a list of all the emotions I show to the world, i.e. happy, cheerful, competent, solid, satisfied, stable… and then the internal list went something like: depressed, angry, hateful, terrified, crushed, withering, not functioning!… So, yes, and I think this is something we struggle even more with in the frum communities where we really have to conform to a certain “normalcy”…

    Sorry, I don’t got much advice. Hope it helps to know you’re not alone 😉

    Moshe, that sounds super intense!

    Is that an image you need to keep up – I’m sure than can get exhausting!

    Curious how you respond to others when they appear the opposite of the way you describe yourself, can you relate – what about to those parts of yourself?

    I’m also wondering if it’s always one or the other, is there ever a middle ground?

    You don’t have to be alone! There are so many wonderful safe spaces to share how you truly feel emotionally and receive support for your journey! The more you’re able to express how you feel & what you think led to that, the stronger you’ll feel!

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    In response to Yehuda (Hudi) Kowalsky's post #10615:

    i’m honest,

    so if a friend comes over and asks me how i’m doing he will get the truth.

    i’m talking about how anyone else sees me (new people or people i see every here and there etc.).

    that’s why there’s no real middle ground.


    thanks for responding.

    Hi Moshe,

    That sounds painfully lonely.  And I’ll bet the sadness is connected not just from possible physiological sadness but also from the fact that you don’t feel truly seen.

    I’d be curious to explore where the feelings of sadness and pain come from.  Almost always there are stories and reasons behind these feelings and they need to be processed, released, and healed in order for us to move forward and feel our best authentic selves.

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    Hi, just found this and found it interesting how it aligns. Good luck, all the best!

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