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    annonymous
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well. Does anyone know how to deal with emotions when a therapist on Instagram who someone has been folloing for ages, and then when the follower contacts the therapist to ask if they can post different nice things from that therapists page and then gets blocked from the therapist.

    The person is doing the right thing by asking the therapist something before doing, and then all the person gets back is no answer and gets blocked.

    It almost feels like this therapist has no thought process.

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    Chavy
    Participant

    Hi!

    (It’s good to see another post!)

    So to your question, first, validate your feelings. I would be incredibly hurt and upset. And if you need to, don’t hesitate to reach out for support if your emotions get intense. (I’ve been on many emotional roller coasters and they haven’t been fun!).

    Second, I don’t know this therapist or much about how instagram works, but from the little I know about it, I can only guess that she was taken aback and felt that she needed to protect herself.  Clearly, she probably should have done it with a little more tact and thought, but I think she was acting from her fight or flight reaction and was unsure how to proceed.

    You definitely did the right and brave thing for asking and should feel pride in that.

    I hope this little bit helps you.

    Hi,

    First off, I think it would be natural to feel hurt and rejected to be blocked especially if there is no reason given.  I think it is also confusing being that we don’t know why that therapist blocked you.

    As a therapist, I do have my own boundaries for how I interact with clients and prospective clients but that being said, I always communicate these boundaries clearly and directly.

    I cannot speak for the therapist but in answer to your question of how to deal with the feelings, we can tell ourselves when we are rejected that it is okay to feel the hurt and to sit in it for a set amount of time.  Then, we can try to understand the situation and if we don’t have enough information, we can tell ourselves it is not a reflection on who we are and more of a reflection on the other person (ex: the therapist did not communicate or handle uncomfortable feelings appropriately) or the situation (maybe the therapist’s toddler took the phone and clicked the block button).

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    Chavy, that must’ve hurt! Sorry.

    As Michali said, it may be boundaries that they are setting, albeit in a hurtful way.

    It also may just be a mistake. I recently had an experience where I shared vulnerably with a group of people (who am I kidding, it was my group therapy) in a text and had asked for feedback. I heard nothing for several days. At that point, I texted the group and expressed sadness that none replied. What do you know, none of them received my initial message!

    I don’t like it when people minimize my experience by rationalizing what may have happened, and I hope you don’t feel that way.

    Your experience is real, as was mine. If the Instagram therapist was setting boundaries or just hit block by mistake, or any number of other things, your experience is still real.

    Don’t let it stop your growth!

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to Michali Friedman's post #9416:

    This didn’t happen to me, but I do feel very much for her and want to say that I hear what you’re saying, but how likely is it that the therapist’s kid pressed the “block” button by mistake? I guess it is likely, but I usually jump for “oh my gosh, how could she do that..” (to myself) We’ll probably never know what actually happened, but the main takeaway (for me) is that she did nothing wrong and the therapist probably felt threatened and didn’t know how to deal with it. No…? I mean, I’m already feeling angry and it didn’t even happen to me! lol.

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    The likelihood of it being a result of her accidentally hitting block and of her feeling threatened are the same.

    In otherwords, we don’t have any clue. Like you said, we’ll probably never know.

    The important take away is that your friend was hurt and that’s her very real experience regardless of what the therapist did or didn’t do, meant or didn’t mean, etc. All of our experiences are real regardless of what actually happened, as perception is reality.

    Rejection, real or perceived, is a big trigger for me and I know it is for others.

    And then, what do we do about it? How do we move forward? How do we process that someone we like(d) can be insensitive or careless?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to OnAndonAnon's post #9423:

    Wow, well said!

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    annonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Hi,

    I just wanted to say thank you for all the warm feedback.

    It’s just so amazing to have a community where we can just feel super comfortable and open about our feelings.

    I understand if this therapist had some disclaimers of what people should ask her. However, in this case there were no written up rules for what’s appropriate and what she will consider blocking someone.

    I emailed this therapist twice and didn’t get any answer. So I decided to whatsapp her. I asked her a question that was so appropriate as it had to do with asking permission if I can use some quotes from her instagran account and post it on my account. I could have chose not to ask her but I did.

    It’s just extremely hurtful that I had to go through this.

    There are more details I wanted to share but I feel like I am going to start being more upset.

    Infact, today I had a therapy session for the first time in 4 weeks and I could have shared with her about it but I was just not thinking properly.

    I do think this is going to help me when I have my dbt session tomorrow since I am up to emotional regulation.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    OnAndonAnon
    Participant

    How’d it go with the DBT therapist?

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    annonymous
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to OnAndonAnon's post #9429:

    Thanks for asking.

    My session was good. I totally forgot to talk about it with her.

     

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to annonymous's post #9427:

    I really really empathize with you. It’s extremely hurtful.  I would be just as hurt if not more hurt.

    Perhaps maybe you could take some more time to process this, like journaling, and then redirect your attention to something else? This way, you allow yourself to feel hurt, angry, etc., and then you do something else to distract yourself from wallowing in (your very legitimate!) hurt.

    In response to Chavy's post #9422:

    What a frustrating and confusing experience!

    Although there’s no singular way to deal with this I had a few thoughts:

    Some people have individuals who mange (certain aspects) of their Social Media; people do this for various reasons. If this is the case in this scenario there may have been a misunderstanding.

    Some people aren’t super S.M. savvy and things get lost in translation over Direct Message etc.

    There’s also a possibility in this case that the therapist recognized or perceived something unhealthy in the quality of the communication from this individual and blocked them instead of addressing it.

    Take care.

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