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    Hope
    Participant

    How do I not make myself be emotionally dependent to therapy and my therapist? I feel very attached and dependent to my therapist. When we can’t meet one week, it’s like the end of the world for me and it’s extremely hard for me, but I don’t want it to be like that. It feels like I can’t live without my therapist. I want to be able to be ok when we can’t meet sometimes and not feel so attached to her. I want to be able to be ok on my own but still knowing that she’s there for me. How do I do this and change the way I feel?

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    mlove
    Participant

    I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I literally feel the exact same way about my therapist. One week she wasn’t there, and I found myself crying. I as well feel so dependent on my therapist. (And now that we have no more scheduled sessions (because it went through the school year as I went in school)  it’s even harder because I just schedule with her when I feel like I need to) so I totally totally understand you and would love if others can give tips as well

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    smilelife
    Participant

    Hi! It is so common to feel emotionally connected to a therapist! Especially when dealing with attachment issues in general. And guess what?! The only way to move on, is to allow it to be… we are often so busy pushing away that connection.  Bashing ourselves for being so needy. And all it does, it makes us feel so much more dependent.  Yet when we allow it to be,  we are so much more at ease.  And it is so much easier without

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to smilelife's post #14737:

    So so true!!!

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    Chavy
    Participant

    @hope and @mlove, how has the attachment with your therapists have been? I’m asking because it’s still so hard for me.

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    mlove
    Participant

    Hi Chavy.
    I actually started with a new therapist since my therapist is going on maternity leave. We only had a few sessions so far but it’s going good. She mainly helps me on my OCD and anxiety but I’m going to try to talk to her about other stuff as well. I definitely miss my other therapist and I have a virtual appointment with her coming up, but since I didn’t speak to her for a while I kind of got used to it I guess. It got easier as time went on to accept that I won’t speak to her consistently, and I have my new therapist.

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    Hope
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Hi Chavy,

    I had a little break from seeing my therapist and just started going back to her. It was hard for me in the beginning but after a bit I actually felt it was beneficial to have a break and I was able to reflect on a lot so I’m grateful with how everything worked out. I do still feel attached to my therapist but I think it’s becoming easier for me and I’m able to take a step back and be there for myself in different ways during the week.

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to Hope's post #14970:

    Wow! That’s amazing. What did you reflect on that made it easier?
    Also, can I say that I’m jealous…? And how are you able to be there for yourself and take a step back?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to mlove's post #14969:

    Wow. So you had to detach from her a little to make things easier?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    What I’m understanding and getting from both of you is that as time went on and you both detached from her, it got much, much easier? But how do you detach when that’s the very thing one might be terrified of? Meaning, if life felt like it was falling apart from not having a session with your therapist, and depending on her, than how did it become “okay” now?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to mlove's post #14969:

    initially, Did you fight the reality that you may not see her as much as you want to?

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    mlove
    Participant

     

    It’s totally normal to feel how you are feeling. And I had that for a long time. And im sure it will come back after I develop a relationship with my new therapist.
    When my therapist told me at the end of last year that she’s having a baby and I won’t have any more scheduled sessions, I was crying for nights. It was really hard. I knew I was going to camp and wouldn’t be able to speak to her then anyway, so I was trying to tell myself that it was an extension. I was extremely not feeling emotionally good and was really sad. She suggested that i start with a new therapist and I was very against that. Then slowly I decided to. I actually had a session with my new therapist virtually in camp because I was feeling very sad. But basically I slowly started not thinking about her all the time. I also got really close with my cousin and speak to her about a lot of things so I feel like she was there even though my old therapist wasn’t. I kind of wish I can go back to that time where I missed her. I kind of want to… not sure if you know what I mean but I kind of miss having that deep feeling to speak to her.

    sorry I’m taking about my experience so much I just feel like I had to say that because it wasn’t that I chose to have a break from her. It was kind of a forced process. So I guess I can say I did have to detach a little to make things easier.

    time definitely did heal. I think I was falling apart until I went to camp and didn’t have access to  her anyway and then I accepted if. I’m not sure… right now I’m okay with it because I have my new therapist and other people to talk to. But I’m not sure how. I guess it’s just how I went from being completely falling apart when I didn’t see her to being okay now.

    Yes in the beginning I did fight the reality. And it was very hard

    Did you ever bring this up with your therapist? I know it can be awkward but I think that just you knowing she knows would help. Sending love

     

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to mlove's post #14975:

    Wow, thank you so much for that detailed response! Yes, I definitely brought it up with her and we speak about it a lot. I guess time heals and having other people in our lives helps too! I wish I wasn’t so attached… sigh! But it makes sense because I have attachment trauma… Thank you, @mlove!

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    mlove
    Participant

    That’s good you brought it up. makes a lot of sense that your attached. I have that with some other people too. Sure, I’m happy to respond 🙂

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    Chavy
    Participant

    In response to mlove's post #14977:

    Same here. I’ve also had it with a lot of other people too. It’s such a difficult thing to navigate.

    Err! The attachment… I’m feeling like I’m wanting my therapist now… it feels good to get that off my chest.

    Thank you!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 37 total)

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