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    avastar
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    I was hurt throughout my childhood. I grew up in an environment where the same people who told me that they love me every day, were the same people that abused me.
    Now, whenever I say the words “I love you” to anyone, I honestly have no idea what that means. They’re just some words that don’t really mean anything to me.
    Also, because the adults in my life who told me that they love me every day also hurt me so much, now any time an adult figure (teacher etc) shows me that they care about me, I end up “fearing” them and thinking that they might hurt me one day – even tho I know that really won’t happen.
    I know that I need extreme therapy for my PTSD, but I have no way of getting it.
    Is there any way you can help me by any chance?
    Thank you so much for listening!

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    Chavy
    Participant

    Wow, that sounds super hard and painful, something that no one should have to endure. I wish I had referrals, but I don’t 🙁

    Do you have an insurance plan where you can see which providers take your insurance? You can also use okclarity’s Directory and search for a therapist by using their filters.

    You are NOT alone – we are all on a journey and are here for you 🙂

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    avastar
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    Topic Author

    In response to Chavy's post #9873:

    Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me!!

    I can’t use my insurance because it’ll show up on the bill, and if my dad finds out, he’ll stop me from going. (I live in my parents’ house and they pay my bills.)

    Hi Avastar,

    I am so sorry you have gone through such painful and confusing experiences and particularly with people who you have a right to expect to be trustworthy, safe people.

    I highly highly recommend therapy.  If there is a way to get a sponsor for therapy or to cover the expenses yourself, I think with a therapist who is trained in trauma, the treatment can be transformational.

    In the meantime, it might be helpful to research some workbooks (Amazon has lots of them) that you can work through.  Workbooks are definitely not a replacement to therapy but they are a helpful aid.

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