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  • Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance.
    -Brene Brown

    Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.
    -Julia Cameron

    Perfectionism rarely begets perfection, or satisfaction – only disappointment.
    -Ryan Holiday

    While we know this, many of us still struggle fiercely with this character.

    This is your space to find others like yourself and beat perfectionism together, despite it’s continuous applause in your home, family, community, and/or society in general.

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    Carver
    Participant

    Being a perfectionist doesn’t mean you’re working towards that “perfect” version of yourself. It simply means you can’t tolerate the imperfections that make you, you. These quotes really cut to the quick of why a perfectionist can only be perfect from someone else’s point of view. There’s this divorce from reality that’s similar to the standards we hold for other people, not knowing the details of their personal lives or even their quirks.

    So largely, I think perfectionism stems from people’s misunderstanding of others, which we internalize. We’re really just holding what actually makes us perfect against ourselves because we’re obsessed with being spotless.

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    In response to Carver's post #5214:

    wow, this was so interesting. I’ve never thought about it in this way

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    I struggle with perfectionism so much. to me, it’s the only way to be accepted by people. something that i’m really trying hard to get over. would love to hear any/all tips and suggestions.

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    avacad0
    Participant

    I struggle with perfectionism big time. I push myself all the time. I have this crazy misconception that the only way I can be worthy is to drive myself to do and do until I’m exhausted. The interesting part of all this is that instead of getting the long awaited approval that I crave, I am actually making people more distanced and intimidated.
    Nobody is interested in associating with martyrs. They make us feel like failures. I am working really hard in trying my best and being okay when I cannot be my best. Life has an interesting way of teaching us lessons, if only we learn it the easy way and not when the lesson becomes too intense……..

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    Chavy
    Participant

    Yes, perfectionism is so real for me too! Thinking about it from my perspective, it comes from not feeling good enough and needing to be “perfect” and once that thing I do is perfect, I’ll find the approval/validation and acceptance I really want. I’m thinking about my writings. I really enjoy writing, but I have such pressure to word it just right.. My pressure comes from trying to break into magazines and getting published, but my writing were never worthy or good enough.

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