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    Im a cool and popular kid who is friends with everyone, I’m bh social around everyone. It’s just this one kid that I’ve been trying to impress for 2 years(even acted like him for a little when I was going through a stage of learning to accept myself). If Im around anybody else I’m myself and everybody loves that. It’s just this one kid that when I’m around him I start to talk and act like him. I tried to tell myself that he’s just like every other kid and just act myself but everyone I’m with him I can’t right now. pls lmk any solutions.thx so muvh

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    Sounds tough! I had a similar type of experience a few years ago at the beginning of high school. There was someone i liked and wanted to become friends with but i didnt know how to do it the right way and ended up saying stupid things to her. After i got over the fact that i wanted to b friends with her and moved on i still felt weird and didnt act myself around her because of the things that went down between us. With time though it faded and now were not friends at all but we’re totally chill arnd each other. So i feel like maybe if possible try to keep a distance from him until you feel a little more comfortable with yourself. If you have other people to be with that it doesnt sound like it should be such a problem to keep a distance. Keep in mind that time really heals and fixes things. If its not possible to keep a distance (like hes your roomate or something like that) then try to ignore that voice that comes when you’re with him telling u to act like him. Push the thoughts away and tune out the voice. Hope this helps.. good luck!

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    Hi so I’m no specialist so my ideas may be wrong but maybe try to think about what side of this kid you are try to emulate and be more like and then realize how that part do you is already great just being you and your friends appreciate for who you are and they enjoy that part of you I’m sure so they wouldn’t want that to change. Realize that everyone is different and that everyone has their own way of being them in this world. Hope this helps And also it is ok to try to be like someone a little bit, in my opinion, just not too much

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    Sometimes there are relationships that connect deeper. These are meant to spur growth. Often times traits that have been worked on and mastered all around show up in such relationships as if back in the days. Takes a whole lot to break through. What I have found is that this is the last place it shows up, the last time it shows up and once its it mastered in that relationship it gone forever. I see the space in that relationship as my growth barometer. Its not about that other kid. Its about how you are with yourself nexto that kid. Bottom line its how you are with yourself.

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    Hi,

    Thank you for sharing a bit about your predicament.

    A few thoughts that come to mind:

    1. In my previous work with children, I’ve often found that the most popular kids were also the ones that doubted their popularity and struggled at times with confidence.  You’re not alone in doubting yourself and mimicking other people that you find are “cooler” than you.
    2. That being said, I think one of the most powerful ways that we grow and learn is by taking on other people’s behaviors and ways of being, trying them on for size, seeing how they factor into our own sense of identity, our own values, and our own goals, keeping what we like, and then discarding the rest.  I’d ask yourself to boil down which qualities do you find cool and attractive about this other person.  Are you personally lacking in those qualities or do they manifest in a different way and you’d prefer the other person’s way?  Is there a way you can learn from this person, try what they do, and then make it your own?

    At the end of the day, as my grandmother used to say there’s nothing wrong in copying others – especially when what we are copying brings us to a better version of ourselves.

    Hi,

    Your question is one that many of us probably share as we learn all our social interactions by watching and imitating people around us. However, it seems that it has reached a point that you are no longer comfortable with and that is a good reason to try and stop the imitation and it seems, the indimitation. While we can talk about some practical tips to stop the urge to imitate this friend, I would rather take some time to try and understand what it is you admire and would also like to possess?

    Try to  catch yourself in those moments and focus on what it is you like that you see? Do you like his confidence? Do you like the way others look at him? Do you like being the center of attention?

    Once you have a better feel for that, try to spend some time introspected. Why is it that you like that and where is that in your life? Is it something you once had or someone you love has? Is it something you have struggled with?

    These questions are just to prompt you, but take it in any direction you need to in order to better understand what it is you are trying to fill. Once you have this awareness you will naturally be able to fill that void in a healthy and more authentic way while still completely being yourself!

    Hi. What would it mean to you if this friend took notice of your behavior? What would you want this friend to acknowledge about you? What do you hope that he sees in you? What is it that you admire about him? What could you tell yourself if you thought you were like this person?

    This person represents something to you. By answering some of these questions you can begin to tap into some of the more emotional aspects of what is motivating you to talk and act like him and why his presence causes your nervous system to start firing.

    Good luck!

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