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okidokiParticipant1 year ago
I finally told my dad who lives in a different state than me that I do not feel comfortable coming for a visit and staying in his home being that I still live under my mother’s roof and I know she won’t be happy with it. He has been wanting me to come visit him for a while but I do not feel comfortable being around his wife, but he doesn’t understand that. Now that I told him that, he has been completely ignoring me. He did the same thing with my brother when my brother told him that he would only come and stay in a hotel, not in the house. Now when I text or call him I’m not receiving any responses. It hurts me to have him this upset at me, but I am really unsure what to do to make up with him. Any thoughts?
ChavyParticipant1 year ago
Hmm. This sounds very hard, and I’m truly sorry that you’re experiencing this.
I don’t know if you tried this, but can you send him a voice message or voice note explaining your reasoning? (That way he hears it versus reading a text).
(From what I understand) That you would really like to see him, but that you don’t feel comfortable around his wife, and that you have no ill feelings about him. Maybe you could even elaborate as much as you feel comfortable by using “I messages,” and validating his feeling. And perhaps you could even suggest that you see him via zoom or a WhatsApp call or FaceTime? That way the hurt is softened
And, he may not respond, but at least he knows that you care about him (not that I think you don’t), and that you really do want to see him in whatever way is possible.
I hope that helps!