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    Chavy
    Participant

    Hi all,

    So, I’ve posted before about feeling attached to my therapist, and the feelings are really strong now, prompting me to write and get validation.

    I had a zoom session and will have another zoom one this week, and since it’s not the same as an in-person one, I’m feeling myself missing my therapist really badly. We made strict boundaries so I can’t contact her in between sessions, but I can write my thoughts down and discuss it with her. I’m mainly writing to vent and just get chizuk and validation. We’re doing zoom for this upcoming session because she felt I could use a break (I also felt that way) from all my psychosomatic symptoms and the intense OCD. I obsess about getting sick because of covid and the clinics policy… But I’m thinking that missing her is more intense and I’ll return to seeing her in-person.

    Just wanted to get that out, and I already feel better knowing that this will be read.

    Hi Chavy,

    I’m so glad you used this space to get support and validation, These forums have given exactly that to so many people. We are here with you!

    As you know, the struggle that you are having with missing your therapist is so normal. Many people struggle with this, especially those who have suffered from attachment wounds and relationship trauma.

    Writing your thoughts and feelings down as if you were speaking to her, might help you continue to feel connected to her until you see her next. Yes, it can be really hard to have to wait! Remember that you have waited between sessions before, and although it has been difficult at times, you have done it. That means you have the capacity to be ok.

    Perhaps use the time to nurture yourself the way your therapist would.

    You are worth it!

    Rooting for you…

     

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    Hope
    Participant

    Hi Chavy,

    I just want to say that I really know how you feel. It’s so hard. I feel the same way often with my therapist and it’s one of the hardest things. All I can say is to try to write down your feelings and maybe email her if she allows you to.
    You got this!

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thank you so much @Shaya Hecht and @Hope for your warm, quick and heartfelt responses. I really feel so much care from you and it helps to know that I’m not alone.

    I also really liked how you – Shaya Hecht said to nurture myself. It kind of gives me the push, support and validation to do that. I am struggling with attachment trauma and hopefully my therapist can help me with that. We’re focusing more on DBT and OCD, but my psychiatrist pointed out that I could use attachment therapy. I hope my therapist can do that with me.


    @Hope
    , I don’t know if you want to share, but do you also have attachment trauma? And how does thinking about your therapist play out for you?

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    Hope
    Participant

    Hi Chavy,

    Yes, I have attachment trauma too. It terms of how thinking about my therapist plays out for me- I feel really attached to her and think about her a lot in between sessions. There are times when I miss her more like if there’s something painful and hard going on and I want to be with her and talk to her. Sometimes thinking about her becomes obsessive which I’m ashamed of and I think there’s something wrong with that but I have no clue what to do about it.
    However, I am aware of why I’m attached to her. One reason is because of the relational trauma I’ve been through so having her as a secure attachment makes me feel so attached to her and miss her. She makes me feel safe and doesn’t judge me too.

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Exactly! Thanks so much for sharing, @hope!

    I also think about her in between sessions and also believe I have attachment trauma. I also feel safe with my therapist and feel cared for. She’s the “mother” I never had. A mother is supposed to be in tune with their child’s emotional needs and just be emotionally available. I didn’t really have that. I’ve also been doing some crying just by thinking of my OCD and my psychosomatic symptoms and if I can see her in person or not. Where I work, they aren’t strict at all about Covid, and the clinic I go to is very strict, so I’m constantly assessing how I’m feeling worried I won’t be able to see her in person. So all of that overwhelms me and brings tears.

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