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    Openminded
    Participant

    I know for older singles yomim tovim could be very painful so want to akmowledge those people first but wanted to know how a married couple going to in laws for sukkos with no one else being there knowing deep down why no one else is coming for yom tov how do you cope with it and not go into full mode sadness depression

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    ridingthewaves
    Participant

    Yes, yomim tovim are so beautiful but can feel anything but -and be so challenging and painful to many people in many different stages and situations.

    It’s hard to figure out from your question what you mean when you say that you know deep down why no one else is coming for yom tov. Maybe if you’re comfortable sharing a bit more, others can try to share their thoughts.

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    Openminded
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    Topic Author

    meaning my parents never built a connection with us when we were younger also my father made a decision to learn for a long time but didnt take into account the stress that he would have, the constant arguing every last penny with my mother and other things that just led to all of us(some wont admit it and go to therapy) closing up and just going into escape mode and now that they are married they have to perfect excuse with kids why they cant come for yom tov

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    Openminded
    Participant
    Topic Author

    But me im someone that takes in that pain puts that pain on myself and that causes alot of sadness understanding my parents pain and just the collective sadness

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    ridingthewaves
    Participant

    It sounds like there’s a lot of pain from the past and also from the present that comes up for you when you go.

    Although you might not be able to escape the heaviness and hurt, perhaps you can think of ideas that can help you get a brief ‘escape’ when you feel overwhelmed by it all. For example: bringing along entertaining books if you enjoy to read, taking walks with your spouse, going into a quiet room and fantasizing that you are in a beautiful safe place like the ocean or a nice forest etc.

    It might be comforting to remind yourself that this is only for a few days especially when our minds get fixed into thinking that this situation will last forever….

    Wishing you peace, joy and serenity this Yom Tov.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)

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