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    WhatsAppers
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    I’m so done of living in Israel… I want to run away… But my husband is not even open to hear about moving.
    Is it a reason I should go to therapy to accept my reality or he’s not ok?

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    He definitely has a right to want to stay, just like you have a right to want to leave. It calls for therapy if you are having a hard time discussing it, or accepting his point of view.

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    DAAS TORAH only !! Best of luck . Rooting for ya!

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Ouch. That’s such a stuck feeling! Really you should probably try couples therapy. If you feel so horrible that you want to run away you need to tell your husband from a vulnerable place so he doesn’t feel defensive and hopefully will be supportive. He probably doesn’t want to destroy you. At the end of the day what you actually do won’t matter as much as how it helps you understand each other better.
    Good luck

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    I think you should be able to leave. You don’t have to go to therapy to teach yourself to want to stay somewhere.
    Maybe therapy would help dealing with a situation out of your control.
    Maybe try to convince him to leave and if it doesn’t work go to therapy to deal with that.

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Ouch!

    Feeling trapped is a horrible feeling! You feel like your exploding! What helps me when I feel trapped is to watch an emotional video and cry.
    I would also say that it “seems” that you view “therapy” as a “thing” and you are unsure if you “need” the “thing” or not. Maybe try reframing your mind that the “therapy thing” is only called a “thing “ if you end up going for a few years. This mindset should “free” you to go to meet a therapist and discuss!
    The first step is one phone call and one session!
    Good luck!
    Sending strength from the 🇺🇸!
    A fellow human “struggler”. 😂

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Therapy. You both have to work it out, it could mean excepting or changing. Good luck.

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Go to therapy and learn how tk commicate better, understand each other bwtter, so you can be on the same page! Its common for couples to get into patterns , especially with emotional things, and can have a hard time seeing the perspective that someone who is outside the situation can see objectively,
    Also if you try one MFT and you dont like them, don’t give up! Try someone else! It may take a few tries to find a therapist whom you will both click with, also its not necessary to have an “issue” in order to go to therapy, couples therapy is an invaluable tool that many couples use regularly to help maintain and enhance their relationship with each other and their parenting, and work out issues as soon as they come up

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #13145:

    I second that!!! This is why your husband has a Rebbi!

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Therapy! Whether you decide to go ahead with the move or not therapy will help you process what’s going on in a safe environment. Good luck ❤️❤️

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    That can be really annoying. I know for me, my mom wanted to move out of our neighborhood for a couple years. Eventually my father relented, but it was not easy. He had to travel to work every day which was like an hour and a half, and it definitely wasn’t convenient. He didn’t really want to move, but he saw how important it was to my mom.
    I think marriage is about compromise. Both of you will have to make some sacrifices and you won’t get everything you want. However, if moving out of Israel is really important to you, maybe you can mention this to your husband and maybe you can make a compromise and meet in the middle. Like ask him where he would want to move, or find him a job wherever you’re gonna move, but as a married couple you need to work together.
    I hope this helps and you work it out!

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #13150:

    Great answer and well said!

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Thanks for all the answers we set an appointment with a Rabbi who’s Also a coach for next week

    –Original poster

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    WhatsAppers
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    I can sense the pain of the questioner in her words. She sounds like she feels depleted. I hope she knows that she is not alone in this struggle, and that there are many wives who are struggling with life in Israel. I have seen the serious negative effects when this is not addressed effectively. Sometimes people in her situation feel like they don’t have a right to feel this way because it’s sort of expected in certain circles and so many people seem to have no problem doing it. However her feelings are valid, and she absolutely deserves to be heard. I wonder about how their marriage and communication is in general. That might be a place to start. In addition, I would ask what resources she has tapped into in order to help her communicate her feelings about Israel to her husband. Whether it’s someone close to them, a Rabbi, therapist etc, please do whatever it takes to be heard. If every avenue has been explored to effectively communicate how she feels, and it still hasn’t helped, perhaps then it will be time for acceptance. And of course get the support you deserve to navigate this huge challenge. Rooting for her!
    Shaya Hecht, LCSW

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #13148:

    Very true!

    –Anonymous WhatsApper

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)

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