- Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
EmotionalsaftaParticipant1 year ago
What do you do when you tell your husband something he said or did hurt you and his response is that it was meant to? Please don’t suggest divorce
MeirParticipant1 year ago
Hi. It sound’s that when you confronted him, he got flustered, and his response was just a defense. Maybe if you’ll confront him on a way which he will not feel attacked, he will respond differently. BTW, I think it is normal to have these tough situations from time to time.1 year ago
In response to Meir's post #10894:
it’s the way he’s always been
When he gets angry he says or does things to intentionally hurt me. When I was going to the hospital for major surgery which could have left me paralyzed he wouldn’t take me to the hospital because he was mad at me, I had to get a friend to take me. He didn’t come pick me up or leave me any food prepared when I got home. I never did find out what crime I had committed that time
MeirParticipant1 year ago
It’s was so painful to read your post. I’m sure it feels extremely miserable…All readers are feeling with you, as much as it’s possible for someone who isn’t in your shoes.1 year ago
In response to Emotionalsafta's post #10896:
Wow. That sounds really, really tough.. I hope things are a little bit better now.1 year ago
In response to Chavy's post #10922:
sometimes yes, sometimes not so much. My husband doesn’t get the cues that what I’m dealing with in therapy make me scared to be touched sometimes.1 year ago
In response to Emotionalsafta's post #10923:
I’m glad you have moments of calm, but I’m not sure what you mean by your last line.1 year ago
In response to Chavy's post #10924:
that’s when he gets angry with me and lashes out and stays angry for days1 year ago
In response to Emotionalsafta's post #10925:
Wow – that can be very scary! Is he seeing a therapist? Can you talk to him about how you’re feeling? Are you seeing a therapist?1 year ago
In response to Chavy's post #10931:
he’s not, I am. She helps keep me grounded in what’s normal because with my history what he does is normal1 year ago
Well, it’s good that you’re seeing a therapist. What happens if you talk to him about how you feel? (You could use a Dear Man DBT style). Could you explain to him that this is not normal, in regards to your family history – that’s if that’s right. I’m just guessing.1 year ago
I know this post was put up a little while ago, and I hope that you are in a better place now.
I just wanted to jump in here.
It sounds so and painful to get hurt, seemingly intentional, from the man you love most in the world. It must be so miserable and lonely.
I’m inspired that you reached out here for support and that you don’t want to get divorced. That’s a clear sign to me that you have hope to create a happy, peaceful and passionate marriage. I have that hope for you too. I’m standing for you and your marriage.
I know this question might sound ludicrous for your situation, but how is your self-care?
My client Chana expressed similar sentiments to that of yours. Her husband was never home, never wanted to help out with the kids and was a constant ticking time bomb for the next outburst of verbal rocks and stones to come firing out at her. She used to lie on her bed and cry, thinking about how she ever married such an insensitive and uncaring man.
When I asked Chana how her self- care was, she admitted that she doesn’t remember the last time she thought of herself with her hectic schedule and in so much misery. I understand that. And I also know that miserable people have miserable relationships.
So, I invited Chana to pile on some really good self- care, as a way of OWNING HER HAPPINESS, by doing things that are fun and make her feel good and taken care of. She started jogging, going out more with friends and taking long hot baths. A couple of weeks later, she reported back that for some odd reason, she doesn’t remember the last hurtful comment her husband had said.
Happy people have happy relationships.
How is your self- care? How would it fit for you make a list of 20 things that you enjoy doing and to schedule in at least 3 things from that list each day for the next week?
I invite you to own your happiness and become a real Goddess of Fun & Light.
I can’t wait to hear how self- care helps you create emotional safety in your marriage.
I really acknowledge all the hard work you are doing to create happiness, peace and passion in your marriage. I know you’ve got this!