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I have a question. My relationship isn’t great with my family because I’m the only one who speaks to my father since my parents divorced, and I feel family is hurt by that. I feel I’m betraying my mother by speaking to my father, and maybe my relationship would be better with my siblings as well had I not spoken to him. I understand their issues with him, and I am hurt too by things that have happened, but so what. Any ideas how I can just be ok with having a relationship with each of my parents without feeling bad? This really bothers me.
-Anonymous WhatsApper
Maybe try to speak to your mom and siblings about it? Open the conversation safely, maybe through a therapist or mentor. Open honest conversation can make things much better by showing that we care for each other and want to love and be close to them. From there hard things may come up and it’s best to have someone helping you though it but it can also lead to such healing. If only that you can find your own peace. Much luck!!! You got this ? ? ?
-Anonymous WhatsApper
My guess: Be your self, work with/on yourself, and maybe your relationship would be better with your siblings have you not talk to your father but think about how would your relationship be with your self, tip; they don’t have to know always when you speak to him , if you talk to him from a healthy place of your inner self then whats wrong? Can’t try to please ‘everyone at once’, but you can try to please ‘once at everyone’ which is your self. Be well. Be your self. Perfection doesn’t exist.
-Anonymous WhatsApper
I’ve been there! My advice is to focus on the relationship between you and each family member individually, and try not to dwell on their own dynamics. Additionally, you do not have to foster relationships if they are toxic (even if they are family!)
Focus on repairing and/or maintaining each individual relationship so that you are in a good place with your relationships.
For example, it is perfectly ok to say to one parent/sibling: “I know that you have issues with this person. I too have issues with this person, but we are working on fixing them.” You are not responsible for other people mending their relationships, and others should respect your decision to work on mending yours.
