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    WhatsAppers
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    Hi, I have a question. My older sisters (3 of them to be exact) don’t talk to me, my parents and my other siblings they basically cut us all out of there entire life for no reason.. (at least non that I know of). I haven’t seen my nieces and nephews for years and my sisters and bro in laws.. I kind of accepted it however I was wondering if anyone else has a similar situation and how they cope with it and if there’s any support out there for me, and others who are struggling with this?

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    WhatsAppers
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    Firstly, I want to say I’m so sorry to hear this – it must be so painful for you and your family. But please know that things like this rarely happen for no reason, and although I don’t know either side of the story and don’t want to justify any actions, there is usually a reason that would have triggered this sort of response from your siblings. I have unfortunately had to be on the other side and cut off ties with a family member even though it has been an extremely painful thing to do, and I knew I was causing hurt, but I had to do it to protect myself from being put in harms way until I hopefully one day feel I have the tools to let them back in my life again safely. I don’t know your specific situation and there could be many reasons why this has happens – this doesn’t take away from the pain, but I hope you understand that they probably have a reason that they felt this was the right thing to do (whether or not it was) and they are probably hurting too… And they probably miss you more than you can imagine! It must be so painful for you to not know why, and to never see them or their kids and I hope for all of your sakes things change one day soon and they are ready to come back…

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    from the question it sounds like you are still living in your parents house?

    Could it be that something happened between your parents and those siblings and they are simply not calling or visiting cause they are trying to avoid them?

    did you try reaching out to those siblings privately in a way that they know it’s only you (like calling them from a friends house)

    Seems like there is more to the story and they are simply trying to shield you from getting hurt by purposely keeping you out of the loop

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    My aunts stopped talking to us after my dad passed away but there was a reason. There always has to be a reason. If your strong enough to hear the reason you could ask. I’m sure they miss u2!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Coming from the other perspective (as the sisters) Im in the process of cutting off my family as they r toxic to my emotional and phycological (which leads to physical) well being. So maybe there was something that u don’t know about. Maybe call or text them and leave a message, this way u know u did ur part of trying. The rest is up to them!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    It sounds like they have a specific reason that they don’t keep in touch. Maybe it would help to write them an email or letter and apologize for anything you might have done and ask them what you did wrong because you want a relationship and you want to know how to fix it.
    My mother got cut off by her sister and she did this. Turns out she got insulted for something that my mother didn’t even realize she was doing. She still doesn’t keep in touch with her sister because her sister is still mad but it gave her closure to know that she did her best

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #11574:

    I don’t know either side of story however I disagree. Family should either go to therapy together or figure something out. I understand that there might be hurt or might be stuff that are uncomfortable but it’s your FAMILY. Not many of us have that. I feel for this person who is going through this and hope she finds peace within her family. I hope one day they can all reunite much love ❤️

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

    It sounds so painful and lonely to be alienated from your family. I could imagine how sad it must feel to not see your nieces and nephews and siblings in so long.

    It says something really big about you that YOU are the one reaching out for support and wanting to make peace.

    Since you’re the one asking this question, I see you as someone very courageous who lives for truth, family and peace.

    One thing I know for sure, is that I cannot control anything someone else says or does. I can only control myself, thoughts, feelings, actions and results. I also know for certain, that once I work on myself and change my thoughts, feelings and actions, the results WILL change and the relationship WILL change. I have tried this out for myself and with hundreds of women.

    I recently heard a great line that I love. “amputating a limb is the very last thing a person will do. He will first do every single medical intervention and alternative option no matter the cost before he amputates a limb”.

    The same should hold true for family members. Cutting off ties with a family member is compared to amputating a limb. It should be the very, very last resort a person turns to with a very heavy heart, knowing that he did EVERYTHING else possible.

    It might take really hard work, a long time to gain a true sense of self to be empowered to live with the person happily and peacefully. But know, that in 99.9% of cases, if you are the healthy one, YOU CAN DO IT.

    Relationship Coaching might be an alternative route one might take to be able to say that they have tried EVERYTHING to gain back a relationship with their family member.

    I know it’s hard work, but I know it can be done and I know how worth it it is!

    I admire your commitment and integrity in seeking peace and pursuing peace.

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    WhatsAppers
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    Soooooo painful!!! I have something w a few from mine kids!! So terribly wrong!!!!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Family estrangement is unfortunately common. There could be one or several reasons. Mental illness, trust ECT and some times the parties can’t even verbalized. Parents need to show a strong will for family to come together. Find a respectful and experienced Ruv who can guide you thru this.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #11579:

    For this you need all the family members to agree to go to one therapist

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    In response to WhatsAppers's post #11579:

    Sometimes therapy is not always a solution unfortunately, and the problem runs deeper than that. We as Jews are instructed to look after ourselves before we look after others, and sometimes time and space are needed to allow a person to live a healthy life – especially when they are removing themselves from a harmful / toxic /abusive environment, even if it involves family. I believe its important not to make blanket statements or to generalise rules for everyone, because each person’s set up is so unique and we can never know what might affect a person and therefore why they respond the way they do. Family to one person might mean the world, but to another person might be a big trigger and we can’t apply the same approach to both or we could end up a lot more hurt than we’d like to…

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    Wow …first of all it takes a lot of energy to be brave to speak of this..it reflects that you are looking to seek the best .it sounds very sad what you may be going thru .I never had or heard a situation like this however dont let deter you,the first thing I would say is perhaps make a call or send a letter to them usualy that can wrip thru any hard feelings if any..or at times things can be either misunderstandings .. doesnt make sense otherwise why they would do that ..your not at fault but you will be the winner when you try to make that call or letter !!
    Wish you best of luck

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    O wow this is very very painful!! I had a similar situation but Bh now my brother already speaks with us so I can understand your pain!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    i also sent an email to my sis in law a few times and she won’t tell me what i did wrong and won’t forgive me.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 27 total)

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