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  • This topic has 48 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Profile Photoarif.
  • Viewing 4 posts - 46 through 49 (of 49 total)
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    WhatsAppers
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    Topic Author

    “The husbands money”?! No no no way. That’s a toxic mindset right there. Nowhere in the Torah does it say that the money the wife works hard to make automatically belongs to the husband and if you think it does you are clearly misunderstanding it’s meaning. Please consult daas Torah or something. That’s so wrong.

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

    Profile Photo
    WhatsAppers
    Participant
    Topic Author

    I believe the wife has to realize that it’s just not her- or anyone’s- business. The writer displays a lot of frustration, resentment, and helplessness at the situation. When she realizes that it is not in her control and learns to let go, those feelings go away or ease. Of course this is much easier said than done, but she has to let go- you can’t feel helpless if it’s not your problem to help. It must come from him, or it will be counter productive.
    I also see a lot of disdain and disgust coming from her. I believe he feels the disrespect and negative vibes from her so strongly, that he feels so worthless, and therefore continues bingeing because he is anyways worthless.
    Don’t stand there clenching your teeth while shooting daggers with your eyes when he does this. Even if your mouth is zipped, sometimes silence also speaks volumes. He can feel your judging eyes. Better leave the room when the loud crunching bothers you, and remind yourself that it’s not your business- and distract your mind from it completely.
    She has to realize that the solution is to change herself (her mindset and attitude), and not him- because there is nothing she can do about it. If she sends genuine positive and encouraging vibes it will transfer by osmosis- and may lead HIM to take the initiative to help himself.

    It takes a LOT of inner work, but is necessary. Good luck!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

    What a difficult situation to be in!!

    There is some great feedback here, I’d like to echo what someone had written previously. Namely it sounds like you’ve tried many avenues without luck.

    It’s very painful to watch anyone, especially a loved one engage in self-destructive behaviors;  short of trying to remove all the potential hazards from their way the next best thing is monitoring how you respond, both externally and internally. Subtle shifts in energy can go a long way, the more you can lovingly accept someone, with all their flaws, the more they can respond in kind.

    Best of luck!

    Profile Photo
    arif
    Participant

     

    Depression – An open letter to someone struggling

     

    https://stfly.me/5Rht1b

    https://www.short-fly.com/WmrBu

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