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    My father said he doesn’t care about Me… how am I supposed to take this? Because for some reason My Mind doesnt care but My heart does. ?


    There is no greater distance in the world than the distance between our mind and our heart. I am sorry that you had to hear those painful words from your father. While your mind may be aware of a long and difficult relationship, the premise for these words, and/or a reason to understand that these words may not be representative of the truth, our heart feels the pain.

    I am not sure if you will find comfort in this, but your heart “should” hurt when your father says he doesn’t care about you. The relationship between parent and child is ingrained in our being and psyche regardless of how unhealthy, pathological or dysfunctional the relationship or parent may be.

    As the child all you can do is take care of yourself and your own mental health. Proper mental health allows for the feeling of pain in a situation like this. So I would suggest giving yourself permission to feel the hurt and being compassionate to that hurt. Along with that, you may gain from some insight based therapy that can help you better understand what this means for you and what this may mean from him. If your father is capable and you are interested family counselling would be a great way to hash out what has brought him to this place and attempt at reconciling the relationship.

    I hope this is helpful to you,

    Chaya Rochel

    I know this may sound cheesy, but the best suggestion I can give you is that “you take it” by allowing yourself to feel what you feel, honoring those feelings, and surrounding yourself with an inner circle of people who love you and celebrate you.

    I don’t know any of the context around that statement, but in general that kind of statement is indicative of some sort of immaturity at best and dysfunction and abuse at worst.

    Add to this the fact that your own parent made this statement, and there’s a natural grieving process that are hearts need to go through in order to heal from this kind of rejection.

    A few things to bear in mind during this grieving process:

    1. You don’t deserve ever to be told that by your own father.
    2. Him saying that is not your fault.
    3. Him saying that is about him rather than about you.

    Additionally, it can be immensely helpful to create some strong boundaries between you and your father as well so that you can limit the risk of being hurt like this in the future.

    And of course, as a therapist I’m a big believer in therapy so finding yourself a therapist who can help guide you through this journey would be ideal.

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