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    My therapist tends to get defensive when I have an issue with something she said (or didn’t say). She doesn’t respond to it in a calm professional respectful manner. We are moving out of the country in two months and I don’t know whether it’s better to stay with an imperfect therapist or try to go it on my own until the move.  I texted her last night, after a session that I was having a hard time, all my inners were shouting at me and I was thinking about self harming. Her response was she’d  me on Thursday. I’m afraid to say anything to her because of what she might say

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    Hi Emotionalsafta,

    Oof, I’ve unfortunately struggled with having a defensive therapist. Although we don’t have to love our therapists, it’s important to be comfortable with them. If you feel uncomfortable approaching your therapists with the issues affecting your mental health, then that’s a red flag. I would suggest creating a pros and cons list. In this list:

    • Reflect on how this therapist has helped you with problems (if they’ve helped you at all.)
    • Reflect on if you feel comfortable more often than feeling uncomfortable during sessions.
    • Reflect on the reason you’re going to therapy and the goals you aim to achieve. Is this therapist helping you achieve your emotional goals? Are they helping you make progress with the reason you started therapy?

    Also, an OKclarity forum was recently created that aims to give advice to reduce self-harming. The forum has several WhatsApp participants that give different kinds of advice. Also, we have a large online directory filled with therapists ready to help. The OKclarity community aims to build a supportive environment for its users, so we’re always here for you!



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