- Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
avacad0Participant8 months ago
I am feeling so shattered,
So lonely and battered,
All I want is peace of mind,
Is that such a hard find?
My mind is in constant motion,
Fighting many an emotion,
Depression and bleakness,
Sadness and weakness,
I keep trudging along,
Humming a mourning song,
Using all my energy that I possess,
Not to cave in in to the mess,
Putting on a show,
That I am happy and on the go,
My eyes are brimming with tears
With heartache and fears,
I feel abandoned and alone
Heavy as a stone,
Hashem I beseech “please help me heal”
I so want to be happy and real
I want to peel my mask away
And to truly be happy and gay,
To give up my role
Of pretending to be confident and whole,
When in reality such darkness prevails,
And my silent turbulence wails,
I am on my journey of health
And Iyh I will find a life of emotional wealth,
I just wish I can have the support I so crave
Of a loving hand to help me rise above each wave
Of accepting me as a human who struggles each day,
To be a better person with what hashem sends my way.
ChavyParticipant8 months ago
Wow!!! No words, @avacad0.
This is such a beautifully written poem, but I am so sorry for your tremendous pain.
ClimberParticipant8 months ago
Trying for the past ten minutes to upload a hug (gif) for you, it’s not working:(
This poem is beautiful, and I feel so sorry for your pain and struggle. I hope you can find some support here and ultimately in your personal life.
XOXO8 months ago
I feel so cold
As life around me continues to enfold
Everyone seems to have a clear destination
Being confident about their situation
I look on in pain
Am I the only one feeling so insane?
I feel abandoned and neglected
Shattered and disected
I dream of clarity
Wishing for empathy
Does anyone not see my turmoil?
Does nobody realize how much I toil?
The sadness is so huge
From the shame I seek a place of refuge
The guilt is tearing me apart
Shattering my lonely heart
The neediness is so stark
Certainly not a walk in the park
Will I ever be able to fill my bottomless hole?
Will I attain my long awaited goal?
Of stillness and peace
Of getting in life a new lease
Of being able to be mindful and present
Not to feel like an FBI agent
Who looks at life with a suspicious lens
Always so impatient and tense
Always feeling like I am on the fringe
Feeling so much shame that makes me cringe
I want to feel free
Wholesome and complete
And to face every day
With a smile come what may8 months ago
Thank you everyone! So heartwarming…..
okidokiParticipant8 months ago
ChavyParticipant8 months ago
Wow!! You express yourself so eloquently, and I truly hope you’re able to feel clarity, ease and calm very soon!! Hugs ?!!7 months ago
Thank you! Here’s what I wrote to help me with my overwhelming feelings:
As I sit and ponder
Question and wonder
Trying to understand life around me
People coming and going so soundly
Everyone so confident and sure
So Happy and secure
With a clear destination in mind
Is it only me who feels left behind?
I have long decided that I will never be included
I feel shunned and totally secluded
I feel surrounded and enveloped by shame
Quietly doing my duties and playing the game
Smiling to everyone that I meet
Always a nice word when I greet
My heart is broken and torn
From all the traumas I feel shattered and shorn
I need to process so many feelings
Things that send me emotionally reeling
The shame is too tremendous to bare
With whom my pain I can share?
I feel engulfed in a sea of confusion
Is it real or is it just my illusion?
I keep going like a ping pong ball
Always on the look out that I shouldn’t fall
My emotions are not leaving me alone
Until I just shut them out and become like a stone
I need to tap into my inner being
To befriend myself instead of emotionally fleeing
To let go of all my control
So that I can rebuild my inner world to become whole
Only then can I attain peace and serenity
And live a life of meaning for all eternity