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    I’ve had anxiety all my life and was recently diagnosed with depression. I’m going through a depressive phase right now as well- just to give context.
    I have a bug problem in my room (my family can attest to this), so at first I though the spider I saw on my wall was real. I woke up from a nap to a big spider right next to me on the wall. I moved rooms and took another nap, and woke up to the same spider right next to me. But when my cleaning lady went to check the wall, she didn’t see it. I feel crazy. I already have depression and don’t know how I’m gonna ever move forward, and now hallucinations?! I don’t understand how Hashem could keep adding to my hurt. Has anyone ever experienced this? Apparently there’s a name but there’s not much info on it. (I’m not schizo or bipolar).

    Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

    Are you seeing a therapist and psychiatrist? I hope so… If so, ask them if this can be a side effect of perhaps a medication or treatment approach. Additionally, if you are seeing these images immediately upon waking it can be that you are still in a sleepy dreamy state and it may make sense that you are seeing what you are dreaming/nightmare-ing about. Again, of course, I strongly encourage you to reach out to your treatment team for support. At the same time, this may be something to consider.

    Additionally, stay away from Dr. Google and instead engage in things that help you feel safe and at peace. You are going through a lot and you need to be kind to yourself throughout this process.

    What can you do in the next hour to show yourself love, kindness, or respect?

    You will get through this. We are here for you.

    Rooting for you!

    Dear Manonyamous123,

    I really like the suggestions Fay wrote. The first thing is “Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” Then, the second thing could be to speak to your psychiatrist about what happened. It could very well be a case of “the nerves.” The human mind and human emotions are very powerful and are capable of conjuring up images. This is especially likely to happen when we’re depressed. Then, working off of what your psychiatrist says, there are several things to do including deep breathing, nutrition, and physical movement and exercise of which there are many good books available on the subject, but the one I would recommend the most is The Transformation by Dr. James Gordon. Reach out to me through OKclarity if you’d like to discuss these topics with me in more detail.

    All the best,

    Binyamin Klempner, LMSW

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