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Yesterday I had an experience that brought up a tremendous amount of emotion. Anywhere from gratitude to anger.
As I was dealing with the anger, I noticed how much I tried fighting it off and suppressing it. I’m scared of allowing (healthy) anger in and often instinctively suppress it with messages and self talk trying to refocus on the positive.
While at times that was necessary for me to get by, for today I’m trying to allow myself to feel all of my feelings including the scary ones. (Like jealousy!)
What are your scariest feelings?
This is such a great topic! I agree that it is super important to feel all our feelings and it’s a difficult line to draw – feeling the feelings and also positively dealing with them via self talk etc.
Anger is a tough one, as is jealousy. Something that helps me on a personal and professional level is reminding myself that everyone experiences these feelings. They are universal. This helps with acceptance and a no fight/suppress reaction. Another thing that is helpful for me personally is acknowledging feelings that I am more comfortable having, even though they are not positive in all scenarios ex. anxiety. By realizing that the unwanted feeling (anger or jealousy etc.) has equal status to a feeling I’ve come to accept and deal with, I create some space to move toward greater neutrality regarding that more difficult emotion. Makes sense?
All easier said than done, honestly!
@Fay, well said!
All feelings are created equal. What I do with it is a different story…
Denying that I feel jealousy [insert your favorite] isn’t helpful. Nor is living in it. So acknowledging and moving through it is what I’m working on.
Hey. this is so helpful to me. i also find myself constantly fighting feelings. Usually doubt and anxiety. I would like to try the concept of realizing they’re all equal and letting them be instead of fighting. thanks guys.
Or as the poets say,
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
In response to Fay Brezel's post #2840:
In response to yechiel's post #8573:
So true! Thank you for the reminder!
Yes!
Learning to express the emotions in healthy and productive ways within a safe setting is super powerful!Using imagery can perhaps prove helpful, further enabling one to not identify with debilitating thought/feelings. In my experience, for example, conceiving anxious thoughts/feelings as a dark, gray cloud descending on and residing in the mind for a while. And then whispering words of wisdom… “Let it be.”
חבי כמעט רגע עד יעבור זעם
Hide for a brief moment until the wrath has passed
In response to Yehuda (Hudi) Kowalsky's post #8620:
To your point, Yehuda, emotions can be expressed in productive and healthy ways through channeling them into creative endeavors, such as journaling, writing a blog or letters you don’t actually send. You can channel your emotions into writing fiction, or poetry, or creating art and music. In the creative realm, you can acknowledge your feelings, process your pain, and transform your rage, jealousy, bitterness, resentment, etc, into something meaningful. And this can lead to acceptance and growth. Best of all, no one needs to see or know about the emotions you’ve discharged – not unless you want them to.
Excellent pointers Rivkah
I’ve also found that practicing mindfulness centered around a specific emotion can be powerful and healing. (Usually to help with something light and positive; such as a loving-kindness meditation)
