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    I_am_okay
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    My whole life I was told it is not okay to feel my emotions. With a lot of hard work I am finally in a place where I can allow myself to feel them but it is so painful that it is no wonder I want to push them away and close off my emotions. I struggle to sit with my emotions because I am afraid of getting stuck and that the emotion will “take over”. Going from not allowing myself to feel to feeling is really intense and feels very frightening. Any advice on how to allow myself to feel without getting lost in the feeling? And also making it less painful to feel?

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    Chavy
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    Boy do I relate to this! I also often get caught up in my emotions and get swirled up in it.
    One thing that’s coming to mind is to remember that you are not your emotions. I don’t fully understand this myself, but on an intellectual level, I know that I don’t equal my emotions; they’re a part of me. Once we distance ourselves from the emotion, we can get untangled. Just a disclaimer that I wish I did this more often and am definitely not an expert in it, but I figured why not share it.
    Hope it helps you!

    My whole life I was told it is not okay to feel my emotions. With a lot of hard work I am finally in a place where I can allow myself to feel them but it is so painful that it is no wonder I want to push them away and close off my emotions. I struggle to sit with my emotions because I am afraid of getting stuck and that the emotion will “take over”. Going from not allowing myself to feel to feeling is really intense and feels very frightening. Any advice on how to allow myself to feel without getting lost in the feeling? And also making it less painful to feel?

     

    Great question!

    From a trauma and IFS lens, the pain you’re feeling is likely the pain held by your inner-child. In short, in IFS therapy when we help the inner child or “exile” unburden, we can ask our inner child to share the pain in small-doses so that our system doesn’t get overwhelmed. The inner child or “exile” is surprisingly negotiable and usually has no problem sending the pain out in small doses.

    I’d recommend not trying this on your own. It’s  a very powerful and deep therapy process that you can do with a professional.

    Good luck on your journey!

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    chanala
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    Tell your emotions that you want to feel them and be there for them as long as they don’t overwhelm you. Let them know you will keep checking in on them so it won’t overwhelm you and they don’t have to all rush up the second you give them attention.

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    embracemistakes
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    First I would like to commend you for reaching a place where you are able to feel. IFS therapy has been very helpful for me. It helps you process your trauma without overwhelming your system. Good luck

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