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    Chavy
    Participant

    As the only one in my family dealing with mental heath challenges (as per my knowledge), I often find myself feeling very lonely. I feel like it’s very hard to relate to my family; almost like we’re on 2 different planes. I’m more of an intense person who likes intellectual things, and my siblings and parents talk more mundane things. For example, my 22 year old sister is constantly fantasizing about traveling the world (it’s her dream to do that). That’s just one example of her wishes. I feel that because I’m in therapy, thank G-d, other things interest me. Don’t get me wrong. I love talking to my friends about their jobs, their Yomtov, their Shabbos and etc.. I also find it really hard to talk to them in general. I guess bc of this. Has anyone experienced this or is anyone experiencing this?

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    avacad0
    Participant

    Yes I can associate with your feelings very much. I also am a very deeply thinking person. As a child growing up I felt very different and wierd. Whatever situation I came across I had a tendency to take things to a whole new level. I had noone to share all my deep thoughts and feelings. Now as an adult I am still paying a very high price for it. I overthink and over analyze things which is extremely unhealthy. I do try to tell myself when I am around people who don’t share my level of intensity that this is where they are at this point in their life and that thank you hashem that due to my struggles I view life with different lenses. But that I have to respect them for where they are holding right now because this is where their journey took them at this given time.

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    Chany
    Participant

    Definitely relatable. Is it because you can’t discuss your emotional struggles with family because they wouldn’t understand/don’t know etc? I would venture to say that getting involved in their conversations even if it feels mundane and unnatural would be helpful. Like this you get out of your own mind for a bit and feel less lonely even if its on a superficial level. I know for me, it’s hard to stay present with other peoples conversations especially if it’s not compelling for me and i have more important or different status stuff going on/interests etc but it’s a great skill to pick up so why not start at home?

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    Chany
    Participant

    In response to avacad0's post #4715:

    I like this perspective so very much! Every’s journey takes them to different places and allows them to see and experience life differently. I dont think one way is better than another. i think each way has its strengths and weaknesses.

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    I’ve always felt a little bit different than my family. I’m slightly more modern and I have always been one to do things that my siblings never did. I am also a hip-hip dancer, which is something extremely rare in my community and sometimes frowned upon. I just focus on the things that I have in common with my family because i know that they support me in anything that I do or anything that I need. I think that has been the biggest thing that has made me feel closer to my family as I’ve grown up.

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to avacad0's post #4715:

    Thank you @avacad0 for your validation!! In terms of my sister and my family, I also try to tell myself that this is where she’s at. But I’m not always in the head space I need to remember that. I think that having an internal dialogue about respecting them for where there at can make room for more headspace and positivity. It’s also really hard when you overthink things (I do all the time) and have more of an intense personality than the others around you. As I’m typing this, I’m trying to think how I’m going to put my words to good use and not just post them, lol! I’m thinking of giving myself a 3 minute breather right before interactions. Maybe my idea will work for others 🙂

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to Chany's post #4716:

    So, it’s really both. I don’t feel comfortable talking about my struggles so much with them. I don’t think they would quite understand and I would feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable. In the same vein, I actually wouldn’t mind teaching my family about Mindfulness because I really like it, but they wouldn’t go for that “psychology stuff.” And, you’re right about getting somewhat involved with the conversation even if it feels fake and weird. It will take me out of my head and it’s probably better than being lonely. It’s also hard for me to be present in conversations when my mind is jumping for me to say something. It’s a real challenge to listen mindfully.

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to RomanticYente's post #4721:

    @romanticYente, I love this line in your post:

    I just focus on the things that I have in common with my family because i know that they support me in anything that I do or anything that I need. I LOVE your perspective. You’re putting yourself and your family into the picture in a very healthy way! Kuddos to you for that!!

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