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    Chavy
    Participant

    I’ve been feeling bored a lot and obsessing over feeling bored and having nothing to do. I don’t have anything pressing to do like an assignment, but things that would be nice to get done. I’m trying to explore other things I can do to keep myself busy like volunteering work.. My biggest trigger for this all is getting home from work and – here we go again; what should I do now? To make things worse, I’m very judgmental of myself and have thoughts like ‘most people have their days/hands very full and can’t wait to have nothing to do.’ My obsessing comes from OCD. I just feel so alone in this area. Do others feel this way chronically, the way I described, or am I the only one who feels so bored?

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    I’m soooooooo with you. I am one that has to be doing something always, has to be around people always, has to be hanging out always. I can not be alone in my house for a second. I go crazy and compare my situation to other people. They all have things to do and I have nothing. I graduated school a year before all my friends so they are always doing homework and I’m doing nothing always. I get super judgemental about myself and get into this very self-deprecating place. One thing that helps me is just getting housework done that needs to get done. The other night I cleaned the whole kitchen for roommates who are swamped with work. I try and do things that make me feel good about myself. Let me know if that was helpful!!

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to RomanticYente's post #5074:

    As soon as I read your opening – “I’m sooooo with you..”, I got so excited that someone else also feels this way and I’m not as alone in being bored as I think I am. I’m not either alone in the self judgment! It’s such a hard hard place to be in, especially when my friends are extremely busy with kids, work, college… and I have so much time on my hands. I wish I would stop judging myself, but that comes after working on my self esteem. I also do housework like cleaning the kitchen (like you did 😉 and laundry which keeps my judgments at bay a bit more. The worst and hardest part is comparing myself to others and being very judgmental of myself. I tried using mindfulness on the bus and just taking in the moment. (I’m finding that I’m forgetting to use Mindfulness with all my negative self talk and comparisons). I just took out a book which I hope I’ll like. And yes, you’re post really did help me! Would you mind posting what else you do to keep yourself busy?

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    alwaysworried
    Participant

    Hey, I am one of those people that are super busy ALWAYS, and i can give you a little insight into real life from that angle. Yes, i wish i had more free time most of the time but i also get moments when i’m bored and even lonely. It’s the strangest thing but i think ( read: fervently hope) its normal. I’m the friend that wants to spend more time with friends and never can because I’m too busy working and taking care of personal and family life. I also need time for myself which i use shabbas for but then there are moments when my phone is not buzzing, no one needs me and I’m like hey, this feels crazy in a bad way. I don’t feel like i can just get cozy with a book because I’m so not used to that slow paced stimulation, and yet i wish i was. There also is always what to do but sometimes were just not in the mood and nothing has sirens around it… So i don’t even know why I’m sharing this. Maybe just to lyk that even super “busy” ppl have times of quite when they wish they had something pressing to do other than be with their thoughts. I think the common thread is that when we’re both uncomfortable with the silence and the different paces of life in moment that we are experiencing it and catch ourselves comparing our life pace to  the pace in life that the people right near us are experiencing, we need to catch ourselves and just say like thats okay. Its okay to feel uncomfortable, its okay to judge/compare myself sometimes, its okay to feel yucky sometimes, its okay to wish things were different sometimes, its okay to be not perfectly busy and relaxed at all times. Life is life, and everyone does life at a different pace at different times. Alrighty, that sums up my little self rant, obv…I think the not motivated piece is st else though…for that i would check out this thread

    https://okclarity.com/forums/topic/motivation/

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to alwaysworried's post #5086:

    Wow! You do sound super busy and it must have taken you time to write this! I also like seeing your angle/view on this topic. Do you want to trade places for a few days so I’ll feel busier and you might relax a bit? Lol. I’m obviously kidding..  I feel that there are different levels of feeling discomfort. For example, you mentioned that you also experience feeling lonely. But that seems much more minor in comparison to my discomfort. My discomfort seems chronic, at least at this point. My loneliness/boredom is more than sometimes. I apologize if I’m coming across as comparing… this feeling is just so hard for me. It’s me and my thoughts (and of course… my phone;) Which needs to be turned off..

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    In response to Chavy's post #5081:

    YES!! Reading. I’ve been trying to get back into reading. there are so many books that i want to read. recently ive been trying to add meaningful things to my daily routine. not just being a bum and watching tv. i do SO MUCH yoga and i love it. yoga has helped me feel my best in so many ways. ive been getting into cooking more and preparing my meals for the week and being conscious of the food i am putting into my body now that i have the time. i find myself talking to my mom more which i LOVE. i always called her once a day but now i can talk to her for longer and thats amazing. ive been trying to watch more documentaries and tedtalks. i think the BIGGEST thing i am doing is finding things/activities that make me feel like i am learning. i loved school because i was learning so im just trying to continue that in any way that i can. omg i can go on for days

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to RomanticYente's post #5125:

    Wow! I’m so happy that you’re able to accumulate a variety of positive activities into your day and that you feel so good about it! As I was reading it, i was thinking that it’s amazing how “small” things (which are really huge) can make such a big and positive difference. Keep inspiring us 🙂

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    alwaysworried
    Participant

    In response to Chavy's post #5094:

    Haha yes i totally understands what you’re saying and yes although it would be a relief to “trade” for a day i don’t know how much good it would do. I think i can understand the discomfort your saying you experience but i also think you hit the nail on the head by realizing that it’s the little or small things that make such a big difference. Like @romanticyente’s ideas to make life fuller and more meaningful. No extremes are good, too bored or too busy… I need to work on lessening my load and you maybe would do well with instilling tiny things that make yourself happier, less bored and more fulfilled. thoughts?

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    In response to alwaysworried's post #5187:

    Thank you so much!! and Yes, I totally agree.

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    Life is all about trying new things and failing and see what works for us and what doesnt and I think that is all we can do. Everyone has his “thing” that makes like better and more meaningful for them and he just has to find it

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    alwaysworried
    Participant

    In response to RomanticYente's post #5196:

    yes that’s very true and i that when you find that “thing” you are less bored and more motivated but that “thing” can and likely will change from time to time and maybe the bored and lack of motivation comes in when your about to transition from what stage your at or what you’re currently pursuing to the next stage/thing that will grab your interest and fill in the larger gaps of boredom etc…

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    RomanticYente
    Participant

    In response to alwaysworried's post #5246:

    yeah! absolutely. that’s such a good point. I didn’t think about like that. I guess while we are in transition mode we just have to hang tight until that new thing comes, but know that it is coming and this rut will be over soon.

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