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    mg2018
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    One of my  family members who I really love and really want to help always has negative thoughts that are always coming to her head since all around u hear all negative things sickness pain, sadness and she cant get it out of her head and everything she hears, any sad story about someone she gets so emotional and crys for that person and the family. She deeply is hurt amd truly cries for them from the bottom of her heart if someone saw her they would think she personally knew the person or was related to them. She is always scared that all these bad things will happen to her.

    We tried telling her think positive but she says the negative thoughts just wont go out of her head and when I tell her think good it will be good it’s worse she says because the thoughts wont leave and then she is scared since she thinks bad she doesnt want it to happen. so I told her maybe people have other ideas to help her.

    Hi mg2018,

    That’s tough–both for you and for your family member. I’m sorry that you’re navigating this heavy reality. Are either of you actively working with a therapist? I imagine that would be beneficial.

    Regardless, I think the best thing you can do is continue to be there for her,  listen to her fears, and try to remind her that there are good things in the world, too. Your love for her, for example, is a wonderful thing.

    I hope you both can find some peace.

    Robin

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    WhatsAppers
    Participant

    Get busy with good stuff, you have less time to think when you’re busy

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    anonymous567
    Participant

    Hi, I had something like this , bad bad negative thoughts. Watch, watch and listen. Trust me watch Torah videos and positive videos, it will distract your mind with good vibes. If I can mention someone who will always bring your mood up… https://youtube.com/c/MeirKay – put this in your browser and his channel will pop up.  And #1 thing make sure to let out EVERYTHING! Never hold it in when you are feeling sad- TRUST me talk about with… ANYONE- Father, mother, sister, “Brotha from anotha motha”. When I was having these scary anxiety thoughts I held it in for a while… but then I spoke about it with my parents and legit all went away! I hope everything goes well. Lmk if this helps.

    -ARI WEBER

     

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    WhatsAppers
    Participant

    I don’t know if this will help but we had a similar situation in my family as my grandfather was watching the news too much and with what’s going on in the world it was making him sad. We started giving him books to read and we found that it really picks up his mood and is a great distraction from the outside world! Also going on walks as well as talking to friends helps!

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
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    We were all put in this world to do ratzon HaShem and to fulfill our tafkid even though there will always be challenges on the road. HaShem doesn’t want us to live life always feeling sorry for other people to the extent that were always sad And it takes over our whole Essence but to help and acknowledge their pain and learn something from it and to thank HaShem we are not put in that situation. Also, she should look for the good in everything in life cuz everything in life IS good even when we don’t see it. HaShem is our father and why would our own father who created us and put us in this world want us to be sad and depressed?? He only wants nachas from His children and for us to live life being besimcha as it says “ivdu es HaShem besimcha”- we havta serve HaShem with happiness.

    -AnonymousWhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
    Participant

    For a smile for ten seconds it will break u out of thous thoughts and every time it come back do it agein
    2. Looking up litruly your face facing up u can think of bad things when in that position

    3It explains in the sefer
    Tanya don’t fight with oyour thought just think of something elas

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

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    WhatsAppers
    Participant

    It’s okay to have negative thoughts. She doesn’t have to forget it. After all for everything there’s positive and negative. You need positive charges and negative charges for electricity and for magnets to actually work. You need a male and a female (positive and negative) for living creatures to survive and reproduce. It’s how God created things.

    So the solution is not forgetting or neglecting the negative. But also to remember all the positive things. And believe me, there’s a lot

    The fact that we woke up today is a blessing. The fact that we went point A to point B without getting an accident is also a blessing. The fact that we ate something in the morning today is also a blessing. The fact we can still see is a blessing. The fact that we still walk is a blessing. Uncountable positive things are happening throughout our lives. But just because they happen everyday, sometimes we feel normal or belittle these blessings. But many people don’t have those blessings. One wrong move and we may lose our eyes.. or our legs.. or our lives.. HaShem blesses us every single day. ?

    Life is not perfect.. but that’s the beauty of it. If God never create the blind, the seer wouldn’t appreciate the blessing of sight.

    Once we realise how many uncountable blessings God had favoured us, we would complain very little about everything that’s happening.. and we would lead a very happy life

    -Anonymous WhatsApper

    Hi mg2018,

    These repetitive negative thoughts can be hard to break without some really useful tools in place.  These tools can be learned with a therapist.  I’m not sure exactly where these thoughts stem from as I don’t know your family member, but it can be a form of anxiety.  A therapist who is trained in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) can be a helpful person to work with as these specialists are trained in teaching clients how to manage their thoughts and the subsequent feelings that arise.

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    mg2018
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thank you so much everyone for your responses. She is incorporating your ideas. Its helping her. Thank you

    Hi.

     

    I’m sorry to hear about your family members suffering. It sounds like a classic case of OCD. Some of the tips offered here may be temporarily helpful, but it is doubtful that her obsessions and ruminations will subside in the long run without therapy. In order to get better, she’ll need to fundamentally change her thoughts and compulsions. This usually needs a comprehensive and expert clinical intervention to be successful.

    Good luck!

     

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    Yeshaya Kraus
    Participant

    Hi,

    It sounds like there are two things going on for your relative; one is that she’s taking what happens to others very personally, the other being that she’s scared of them happening to her. It’s likely that they’re closely connected. To echo what others have mentioned, it sounds like CBT-based therapy would be helpful.

    Asking someone to think positively is not always the way to go. The negative thoughts are there, and if they’re not looked at and appreciated, they’ll just keep pushing up. It’s like telling someone, “Oh, don’t look out the window.” The window is the first place they look, usually. It’s possible that so much energy is being spent on trying to avoid the thoughts in the first place, there’s much less left to be able to cope with them.

    Validate her fears as much as possible (it’s not just for therapists!). She may benefit from looking at how realistic the end result is, and what she can do to prevent those end results. Finding some concrete facts surrounding the issues she’s afraid of, combined with a concrete plan, can be empowering.

    Hatzlacha!

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