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    hs1d
    Participant

    Hi, I’m having tough time with my emotions. In my journey of healing from a traumatic past I’ve learned how to be conscious and aware. It helps me to identify what I’m feeling, and how to navigate those emotions in healthy way. I find, though, that there’s a very fine line between allowing an emotion to sit with me, hold space for it, and withholding growth, because of the emotion.
    My question is, what’s the divide? Can you help me shed some light and gain some clarity

     

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    Dana Rosenberg
    Participant

    Hi,

    It sounds like you are doing a great job on your journey of healing!

    This is a very important question. The short answer is embedded in your question-the word divide. Although emotions are part of you, they are not intrinsically you-you are the one to decide how to deal with them. The correct frame of mind is ‘I am having this emotion’ as opposed to ‘I AM this emotion’. This gives you the upper hand so to speak.

    I’m happy to provide more information on how to do this. You can contact me directly at ydrose13@gmail.com.

    Best of luck!

    Dana Rosenberg Enneagram Life Coach

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    Leebi
    Participant

    Hi! I have a similar problem, and I just spoke to my therapist about it. There is another thing in addition to what Dana mentioned that makes a difference. First of all, deciding to take control over your emotions when they are so overwhelming is a HUGE step! Applaud yourself for that (if you can)! Second of all, the way to take control over your emotions, the dividing line between taking control of your emotions and letting your emotions overtake you and your life is… (Drumroll please 🙂 TIME! Make time limits for yourself. When you feel an emotion, tell yourself, “Okay, I am going to feel this emotion for ___ amount of time.” This amount of time should be enough time for you to feel your emotions and hold space for them safely without it overtaking your life. Use a timer if necessary. When time is up, I feel that it is helpful to take a few deep breaths and tell the emotion (or myself- whatever works better) that I’ll deal with it later when I have more time if necessary. Then I distract myself with another activity and allow other positive emotions in. One problem I have when feeling emotions is that my mind dissociates. My therapist explained to me that when I do this, my brain is trying to protect me from things (thoughts and emotions included) that don’t feel safe. Therefore, my brain doesn’t want to feel emotions that are too intense. That’s why she taught me this trick, to tell myself that it’s safe to feel my emotions and make it for a short amount of time, like 15 minutes.

    Hatzlacha! I hope it works!

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