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    Chavy
    Participant

    Hi all,

    I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety and distress from a certain intrusive thought that keeps playing out. I’m doing the ERP method and it’s just so overwhelming! I feel like engaging in my fear and not avoiding it is equal to that thing happening. Meaning, that this intrusive thought is saying that if I do X, than Y will happen. While I know that that’s probably not reality, the OCD is still so strong. I really want to share what the thought is, but I’m a little worried to because it’s very specific and I want to remain anonymous… maybe I’ll get the courage to share it.

    I’m really trying to stretch myself and do the work.

    I would appreciate any validation and Chizuk.

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    Hope
    Participant

    Hi Chavy,

    That seems really hard and overwhelming. I wish I can help but I’m not sure how. I hope you find a way to navigate the intrusive thoughts and distress. It will get better. You got this.

    ❤️,
    Hope

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to Hope's post #14884:

    Thanks so much, @hope!!

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    mlove
    Participant

    Hi Chavy.

    I understand what your saying. I actually am about to start ERP and I hear what your saying. When my therapist explained to me what it is, I also got extremely scared- worrying that doing it is gonna make the thing come true. She told me that it is hard, but I can always choose not to work on a specific one if I don’t want to. I think you should discuss it with you therapist telling her how you feel. Maybe ask her if you can take a break from one part of the ocd your working on in therapy (as in one of the thoughts leading to compulsion) and choose to come back to it later. It’s always helpful to share with your therapist how your feeling throughout the process. I completely understand you with not wanting to share what the thought is, I have the same issue. It’s really difficult to share it and it’s ok not to share it. I know for myself that after I do write it down, I delete it right after (I type it into my phone) and that kind of trains my thoughts that I wrote it down, the thought gets less power, but then I delete what I wrote to not have any feelings of the thought coming true. Of course the thoughts still come and I suggest you share with your therapist that it’s hard for you to say what it is.
    you are so strong and I’m so proud of you. It takes tremendous courage and effort to put in all the work. I’m so proud of you for that. Remember to do some self care or stuff that make you feel good and give you the strength to keep going . You got this

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to mlove's post #14915:

    Thank you so much, @mlove!

    Your encouragement and care really, really softened my anxiety!

    So what I meant by sharing is not that I don’t want to share it with my therapist, but that I’m scared to share it on this platform because, although I’m anonymous here, the thought is very specific to me and I don’t want to be identified right now. The thing is that I do want to work on this fear (obsession and compulsion), but I’m really scared because of that thing potentially coming true. I’ve shared it with my ERP therapist, and regular one, and although I know it’s not reality, it’s still so scary. Any other thoughts?

    Thanks so much again for your care and encouragement! It really boosted me!

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    mlove
    Participant

    Oh I totally hear that. It makes sense that you don’t want to be identified on this platform right now it.

    About  wanting to work on a compulsion but scared of it coming true, yes it’s very hard. That’s exactly what the ocd thought does unfortunately. I’m not sure what would help on that one. I’m about to start ERP, and a little nervous how it will work. But it’s for sure hard and I understand you

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    Chavy
    Participant
    Topic Author

    In response to mlove's post #14917:

    Thanks so much! Hatzlacha with doing ERP!

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