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    CalmGiver
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    Hi,  I’m just wondering why would a person want to stay in denial?  I’ve had a pretty difficult childhood as per my therapist & my husband (I don’t really see it that much). What’s not letting me face my issues?

    Therapy is very hard for me since I learned to block out all my emotions & focus on everyone else’s emotions…

    Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

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    avacad0
    Participant

    Hi, I have so much to say on this subject. Firstly denial is a gift from hashem to use at the point in our life when we go through trauma and our brain cannot deal with it. But after awhile it doesn’t work anymore, being that it is a temporary solution. If we would not be in denial when we go through bouts of trauma then our brain would not be able to survive it.

    But we need to deal with things eventually, because the subconscious part of our brain is timeless and it is as if it happened right now. The things are sitting and waiting for our attention.The more we ignore the pain the more it will scream.

    And I totally associate with your denial coping skills being that “I have been there and done that” I too grew up with lots and lots of trauma and I was in total denial. I thought I had the best childhood in the world. I blamed myself constantly for feeling so sad. I felt like something about me is damaged. I was in an “emotional choma” for years. Until I woke up with such a bang that I am still reeling from the impact.

    The only way to face our deep dark demons is to really admit that life has been very hard and that those closest to us have led us down. It is a very painful process but the results are enormous and so beautiful!

    Our greatest asset is often our greatest roadblock.

    The ability you have to block out those painful memories & emotions which has helped shape you into the strong & caring person you are today.

    Sometimes though our blindspots hinder us from growing in those areas we need help in.

    Be patient with yourself, with positive encouragement the layers will be peeled back and things will grow in previously infertile territory.

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