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  • The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Chany

    my 9 year old daughter struggles with separation anxiety and beginning of school year tends to be a huge struggle. She cries and throws tantrums every morning creating a lot of chaos in the family. She usually is ok once shes a few weeks in school. Any ideas on how to ease the process? Should she see a therapist for this?

    thanks, chany

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    Fay Brezel
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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Rachel Brezel MSE, LMHC

    Hi Chany!
    Beginning the school year is a stressful time for all moms. Add to that a child with separation anxiety and I can just imagine the tension that builds up! Let me assure you that you’re not alone. Separation anxiety, especially at the start of the school year, is quite common.
    A few helpful tips-
    1. Be firm and loving throughout the entire process but do not waver. To school she goes and on time. Try to give her the emotional strength she needs by remaining calm, composed, and understanding but with no room for manipulation.
    2. Do not take her to school personally. Try for carpool or school bus. The further the distance from school that she must separate from you, the easier it will be.
    3. Speak to her the evening before school begins for 10-15 minutes about the possible and understandable discomfort of separating and have her involved in ways to make it simpler for her ( special breakfast, snack, exercise, dancing, etc. )
    4. Have your daughter create a great line that she can say to herself when she feels her anxiety escalating ( i.e.-I could do this. I’ve done it before! )
    – Of course, if the anxiety persists or moves into other areas of her life, it would be wise to seek the advice of a professional and most likely have your daughter speak to someone as well. She can then gain many more tools than offered here.
    Best of luck!

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    Fay Brezel
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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Chany

    Thank you for this response. This is really helpful. I have used some of these skills in the past and now that I’m reflecting they were the skills that worked. Being firm and loving is very difficult for me but until I am firm there is always chaos. I like the idea of helping her with a positive self affirming statment and i think i can use one for myself so i can stay calm and composed for her as well. I hope it goes more smoothly than anticipated.
    Chany

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    Fay Brezel
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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Rocheli Sternheim, LCSW

    There are some great books that help children learn to feel connected to attachment figures even while away from them. Two great books that have helped me as a clinician addressing this issue are ” The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst, and “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn.

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