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  • The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: A.F.

    Hi, Firts of all thank you for this forum. I think this is long overdue. Im not sure if I’m posting in correct place but i guess you’ll take it from here. My 10 year old daughter was just diagnosed with diabetes and is having tremendous anxiety and shame with going back to school. I’m having her see a therapist although she is reluctant. I am in touch with school staff and they are truly understanding. My question is how to help my daughter move from a place of shame to acceptance? also, any other help or guidance would be appreciated.
    Thanks,
    A.F.

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    Fay Brezel
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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Chany

    Hi A.F, Glad to see someone is also using this forum already 🙂 I too struggle with a 9 year old with anxiety so i can imagine how difficult this is for you and your daughter. It sounds like you have a secure plan in place to manage all the technical issues. The emotional piece will likely take some more time and patience to fall into place. I would suggest both of you continuing to get the emotional support you need and not trying to rush the process of acceptance. All the said the more you model acceptance the eaiser it will be for your daughter to remove herself from the shame and work towards acceptance. Not to pressure you at all, i think you both need to be patientwith yourself and each other. i hope this is helpful.
    Good luck, chany

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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: Ari Perl, LCSW

    Dear A.F., I can empathize with you as a very close relative was diagnosed with Diabetes at around the same age, and the anxiety and shame is absolutely normal. I think Chany’s points about the need for time to adjust and the importance of your modeling acceptance is right on point. Also, if/when your daughter gets back to school and experiences some acceptance from her friends and teachers that will also help. Do any friends know? It may help to include trusted friends and school staff in some of the preparation for the start of school.
    The other thing I think is important to emphasize is to validate all of her negative emotions- you mentioned anxiety and shame, but there may be others- anger, sadness/loss of her “old” self etc. Rather than trying to get her to be more accepting of her Diabetes, try reflect her feelings and show that you are accepting of what feelings are coming up for her. And while you work on your acceptance of her diagnoses, and on appreciating that she may take more time, you can also help her get to more acceptance by “holding her hand” (literally and/or figuratively!) as she goes through whatever negative feelings she is dealing with.
    Lastly, would your daughter be open to talking to other kids with Diabetes to hear from them how they integrated back to the new normal? There may be a group or a peer support that can be invaluable.
    All the best,
    -Ari

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    The following post has been transferred from a previous version of the forum @ okclarity.com

    Originally posted by: A.F.

    Hi Ari and Chany, Thank you so much for this feedback. I really appreciate the encouragemnet and insight. I will definitley try to make more room for her negative emotions. I think I have been avoiding many of those. She hasnt told any friends yet, but I’m hoping she will as soon as school begins. If you know of any support group resources you can share but I think thats a way away since she doesnt seem open to sharing with even close friends yet. Thanks again, AF

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