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  • Anonymous

    Hi everyone,

    I just kinda need to confess and need ideas of what to do cuz I never told anyone… I have been chatting on sexual sites and watching such things too. I like it but I really should not be doing it!! I can’t stop though!

    Any ideas of how to bring it up in therapy?

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    Chavy
    Participant

    Hi,

    That is definitely something that’s very hard to bring up. I can also relate to the urge part of it. It would probably be very hard to bring up bc it’s not something that you like doing, but I think that once you do, you’ll probably feel very relieved. Also, therapy is a safe place where we can allow ourselves to feel vulnerable (even though it’s mighty embarrassing or hard) bc we know that we’re going to get help. I find that therapists are mostly non-judgmental and aren’t judging what we do per se. I think it’s more about what that activity does for us that the therapist will focus on. Meaning, it’s what’s behind the activity; what it represents or means to us.

    I hope that helped and validated you.

    Let us know how it goes!

    That’s such a tough issue and takes a lot of courage to deal with, on any forum.

    Based on the fact that you brought it up I guess its causing you a lot of heartache as well as filling some emotional void.

    Try to come up w/ a Pros and Cons list of engaging on the website and put it near where you’d most often need to see it, really contemplate each side and take it from there; maybe that can be a segue for you to have a discussion w/ your therapist.

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    zissy
    Participant

    Kudos on your bravery to sharing your personal struggles. We all struggle with many different things . Finding the right therapist who specializes in this field might make you more comfortable in sharing and disclosing. Sometimes just admitting it out loud to your therapist might take some of the stress off and you’ll feel more free to talk by next visit . Good luck

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    Hey everyone!

    Thanks for the answers! I still haven’t had the courage to bring it up… I guess time will tell…

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    If there is anyone who isn’t too ashamed and got over such an addiction I would love to hear how you did it!

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    Ari Sytner
    Participant

    In response to Keepsmiling's post #7622:

    I want to commend you for raising an issue that is quite common today and one that many people struggle with. To your point about wanting to talk to others who “got over it,” I want to encourage you to think about it more as a process, than a black and white absolute.  For any addictive behavior, it is not about beating it, rather confronting it and learning new things about yourself, how to identify your triggers and to cope with them. Thus, by bringing it up in therapy is one of the best ways to find non-judgmental support and learn to manage your feelings and behaviors.

    I can tell you that as a marriage therapist, I have seen many couples where one of them struggles with pornography use, but were too ashamed to raise the issue to their spouse or therapist. Instead, they exerted a great deal of time, energy and emotion to keep and hide their secrets. However, once it was finally revealed in therapy, it was like a major burden was lifted and I have been able to help guide the couple’s relationship to grow to a much higher level than before.

    Especially as Torah Jews, where we tend to think about these issues as “right or wrong,” and therefore, are embarrassed to have these human flaws or desires, it is truly helpful to remember that there is great power in being fearlessly honest in pursuit of your own growth.

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    Hi,

    Thanks!! I TOLD MY THERAPIST!!!!

    I hope that this will be the start…

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    splitandtrying2bme
    Participant

    WOW!! I have been following this forum and I am amazed. I believe this takes so much courage and you are the courageous one here!!

    This is awesome! Thanks for making me happy and being an inspiration for growth.

    I hope it only continues upward. And if however the therapist doesn’t help you in the right way for you, dont give up. Someone else will.

    We are rooting for you. Be easy on yourself, take it slowly and steady, you’r great!!!

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    Chavy
    Participant

    That’s AMAZING!!!! I’m so happy that you found the strength to share this with your therapist! Kudos to you!!! I’m sure this will be the pathway to much growth!

    Keep us posted!

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    zissy
    Participant

    Incredible !!! Thats the biggest step to freedom that you couragesly took ! I know how hard that must have been but your now on your path to healing !! Keep on climbing , and no matter how many times a person might fall or slip , keep on going ..Rome wasnt built over night ..and the biggest success stories are from those who conquered all parts of the journey ! We are proud of u !! Good luck

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    cftm
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I just kinda need to confess and need ideas of what to do cuz I never told anyone… I have been chatting on sexual sites and watching such things too. I like it but I really should not be doing it!! I can’t stop though! Any ideas of how to bring it up in therapy?

     

    There is a jewish website that helps people (free of charge) with this issue

    guardyoureyes.com

    They also have an online forum where you can get advice from people who have overcome (or are also struggling with) this issue (or similar issues)

    guardyoureyes.com/forum

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    In response to cftm's post #7813:

    thanks will check it out

     

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for ure support!!!! It means a lot to me!

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    Keepsmiling
    Participant

    Hi everyone I’m back…

    I told my therapist about watching and she was super chilled and I just spoke and said everything! 🙂

    But for some odd reason when I am bringing up chatting I am finding it close to impossible to talk and especially give detail….

    Any support, ideas or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)

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