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    I am litterly bedridden. I have not left my bed in 3 weeks. I do nothing all day but watch videos. I do absolutely nothing else with my days. My husband takes care of the kids, there is full time cleaning help and there is takeout only for supper. I take meds for add, depression and anxiety. I don’t get out of bed ever! I wear a nightgown all day. My old therapist who I stopped seeing 2 years ago said that I don’t suffer from depression and that I am just lazy and have bad habits. I am never sad. I am not happy. I feel nothing. The phsycatrist says it’s add. Can anyone shed light to what condition I might have? I feel lost not understanding what is wrong with me. I just feel guilty for being a terrible mother and spouse. But I can’t function despite meds and my past therapist has been a disaster not understanding me and just telling me to get out of bed which wasn’t helpful. What is wrong with me?

    Hey there, thank you so much for reaching out for help and sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to reach out when you are in so much despair and I admire that.

    You have a good head on your shoulders as is apparent from your recognition that your prior support team was unsupportive for you, that you are in a state of confusion as to what is underlying the symptoms you are experiencing, and your desire to function as a loving spouse and mother.

    My point in sharing this reflection is to help you balance the parts that are so right about you instead of simply focusing on the parts that seem wrong right now.

    I want you to try to hold this healthier perspective with me.

    Next, when you feel ready I would encourage you to meet with a new therapist and not to give up until you find the therapist that will help you see through this crisis and find the light again. I am certain there is an excellent clinician out there waiting to help you, you just need to be persistent and willing to do the work to find that person. A good therapist will connect you with a good psychiatrist and my hope and belief are that you find yourself in a healthier space before you know it.

    I am sending love, belief, and strength.




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    Shifra Schnair

    I’m so heartbroken to read this, especially what your last therapist said. As a truama informed therapist I see this as a very normal trauma response to unresolved trauma. (It doesn’t have to be anything major, but just your nervous systems way of handling all the things that were too difficult). Please find a trauma informed therapist who can help you.


    Find an activity you enjoy and start doing it not because you have to but because you want to, get rid of the guilt of being who you are the way you are, because it simply doesn’t help you in any shape or form.

    Once you are comfortable with yourself and doing things you like and stop living in the habit of doing things because you have to, you will experience rebirth and experience life again like you used to, full of adventure and ups and downs.


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    my heart goes out to you reading this, i’m so sorry to hear:(:(:(:( i cant imagine how awful it is, its very brave of you to reach out here like this, this shows that you are strong, its scary, and it is NOT your fault you are NOT lazy, its really hard

    i’m davening for you, and i really hope you get the help you need soon, and have a complete recovery, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, everything.,

    May Hashem answer your tefilos le’tova, and shower you with brachos and yeshuos, and refuos, lots of hatzlacha, and strength, for you and your whole family, i am keeping you in mind (for a little while at least)

    May Hashem also send you the right shlichim to help you, really soon, good therapists, psychiatrists, mentors, rabbanim , freinds, anything you need,

    (side note on psychiatrists which i feel is very important, is to use a psychiatrist who gives you the time to ask questions, and answers them seriously, and can also be contacted between appointments if you have any questions or concerns,  (not excessively) is very important)

    also, you may not have thought about this when posting your message, but there are other people experiencing similar challenges on varying levels of severity, and reading this gives them courage to reach out and ger help, feeling less alone in it, and less shame, so thank you for reaching out here!

    i know i dont have any suggestions, and i hope you get all the help you need soon, but i want you to know that i (and many others) care,





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