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    Faigy75
    Participant

    Hi. My husband and I have been married for 20 years and we have a great friendship/partnership but our physical relationship has never been good. I feel attraction to him but just never want to be intimate. Sometimes I acquiesce and I enjoy it while it lasts but he’s upset that we aren’t physical more often and that I don’t seem to be attracted to him at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me since I used to get physical with boyfriends before I met my husband. It’s a major stressor on our marriage and the only thing we ever fight about. TIA

    Hey Faigy75!

    Sounds like you have a wonderful foundation for a successful marriage- a solid and respectful friendship.  Struggling with intimacy is not uncommon.  I just feel bad that you waited 20 years to address this concern.

    Understandably, there are so many possible factors here – hormone levels/changes in libido, emotional connection with your husband, how you and your husband communicate about intimacy, your individual sexual history and much more.

    I believe you are in a good place and ready to consider reaching out to a professional who specializes in these issues to help you sort out what is holding you both back from having a healthy intimate life. If you need/want a referral I may have some ideas depending on where you are in this big world.

    Best of luck,

    Rachel

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    Faigy75
    Participant
    Topic Author

    Thanks Rachel. We went the therapist route and we found them not to be particularly helpful; just a lot of money… The fact is, I’ve had this issue/attitude from the beginning of our marriage, so it’s not an issue of stress, children, hormones, etc. It’s been 20 years straight and my husband has been incredibly patient/understanding.

    I’m sorry to hear that the therapy process has not worked out for u guys to date. Sometimes it’s just not the right time or the right fit.
    All that said, I hope others on the forum will be able to jump in to support you with your struggle.
    Best of luck,
    Rachel

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    Hello1
    Participant

    Have you ever heard of maze women’s sexual health center? They specialize in these issues within the frum community and beyond I believe. Here is the link https://www.mazewomenshealth.com

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    Banana
    Participant

    Have you ever heard of maze women’s sexual health center? They specialize in these issues within the frum community and beyond I believe. Here is the link https://www.mazewomenshealth.com

     

    +1 (agreed!)

    I can’t tell how many therapists or for how long you’ve tried therapy but that sounds like the best bet. Perhaps Maze would be helpful. Perhaps individual therapy for you is the right path to discuss your feelings surrounding intimacy. Best of luck!

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    Openminded
    Participant

    i dont have any problems when it comes to intimacy but sometimes i get anxiety and stressed when talking and realize a flaw on my wife wondering if anyone has any tips on this

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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