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    I’m someone who suffers from rocd a subtype of ocd and have anxiety and depression and my wife just had. A baby mazel tov to that but I’m obsessing and getting anxiety on my happiness of having this baby and I’m really in pain to make it worst I feel guilty being in pain after having such a simcha please any words of chizuk or advice?

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    I feel you. ROCD really sucks and is very hard to deal with as it is a ton of mental compulsions.
    you can’t control how you feel – your can try to control how to react how you feel to it.

    It is very natruel to feel guilty about not being able to be happy with new relationships- I struggle with that myself. But there is no need to beat yourself up about it just as an addition to all your pain

    Hi Openminded,

    Mazel tov to you and your wife on the birth of your baby! I can hear your suffering. During times of big life transition (even simchas like a birth), it’s very normal to feel a mix of emotions, including anxiety, fear, and even a sense of loss or grief about the parts of our old life that have now changed. We tend to suffer when we judge how we feel, telling ourselves we should feel this and shouldn’t feel that. Instead, try naming the different feelings you’re having and telling yourself that there is room in your heart to feel it all. It’s also common for symptoms of ROCD to get worse at times of transition (especially a major relationship transition, like having a baby). How you feel right now is not how you’ll feel forever. When you find yourself obsessing, try to remember that none of us knows what the future will bring and do something to bring yourself into the present moment – take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, drink a glass of water. Also remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Postpartum Support International has a number of free supports and resources for dads: And if you’re not yet connected to a therapist, now might be a good time to seek some extra support to help you feel less controlled by your thoughts and emotions and more able to feel the joy and gratitude you’d like to feel for your simcha. Wishing you all the best!

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