A parent's guide to nutrition in quarantine. Learn to promote a healthy relationship body, food, & eating in quarantine and beyond.
We don’t always eat simply to satisfy hunger.
Many of us also turn to food for stress relief, comfort, or as a reward.
If you’re an emotional eater, you may feel powerless over your food cravings. When the urge to eat hits, it’s all you can think about. And afterwards, you feel even worse. Not only does the original emotional issue remain, but you also feel guilty for overeating. By practicing mindful eating, though, you can learn to pause between the trigger and your response, change the emotional habits that have sabotaged your diet in the past, and regain control over both food and your feelings.
What is emotional eating?
If you’ve ever made room for dessert even though you’re already full or dove into a pint of ice cream when you’re feeling down, you’ve experienced emotional eating. Emotional eating or stress eating is using food to make yourself feel better—eating to fill emotional needs, rather than to fill your stomach.
Using food from time to time as a pick me up, a reward, or to celebrate isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But when eating is your primary emotional coping mechanism—when your first impulse is to open the refrigerator whenever you’re stressed, upset, angry, lonely, exhausted, or bored—you get stuck in an unhealthy cycle where the real feeling or problem is never addressed.
Emotional hunger can’t be filled with food. Eating may feel good in the moment, but the feelings that triggered the eating are still there. And you often feel worse than you did before because of the unnecessary calories you consumed. You feel guilty for messing up and not having more willpower.
No matter how powerless you feel over food and your feelings, it is possible to make a positive change. You can find healthier ways to deal with your emotions, learn to eat mindfully instead of mindlessly, regain control of your weight, and finally put a stop to emotional eating.
Are you an emotional eater?
- Do you eat more when you’re feeling stressed?
- Do you eat when you’re not hungry or when you’re full?
- Do you eat to feel better (to calm and soothe yourself when you’re sad, mad, bored, anxious, etc.)?
- Do you reward yourself with food?
- Do you regularly eat until you’ve stuffed yourself?
- Does food make you feel safe? Do you feel like food is a friend?
- Do you feel powerless or out of control around food?
The difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger:
Emotional hunger can be powerful, so it’s easy to mistake it for physical hunger. But there are clues you can look for to help you tell physical and emotional hunger apart.
Emotional hunger comes on suddenly. It hits you in an instant and feels overwhelming and urgent.
Physical hunger, on the other hand, comes on more gradually. The urge to eat doesn’t feel as dire or demand instant satisfaction (unless you haven’t eaten for a very long time).
Emotional hunger craves specific comfort foods. When you’re physically hungry, almost anything sounds good—including healthy stuff like vegetables. But emotional hunger craves junk food or sugary snacks that provide an instant rush. You feel like you need cheesecake or pizza, and nothing else will do.
Emotional hunger often leads to mindless eating. Before you know it, you’ve eaten a whole bag of chips or an entire pint of ice cream without really paying attention or fully enjoying it. When you’re eating in response to physical hunger, you’re typically more aware of what you’re doing.
Emotional hunger isn’t satisfied once you’re full. You keep wanting more and more, often eating until you’re uncomfortably stuffed. Physical hunger, on the other hand, doesn’t need to be stuffed. You feel satisfied when your stomach is full.
Emotional hunger isn’t located in the stomach. Rather than a growling belly or a pang in your stomach, you feel your hunger as a craving you can’t get out of your head. You’re focused on specific textures, tastes, and smells.
Emotional hunger often leads to regret, guilt, or shame. When you eat to satisfy physical hunger, you’re unlikely to feel guilty or ashamed because you’re simply giving your body what it needs. If you feel guilty after you eat, it’s likely because you know deep down that you’re not eating for nutritional reasons.
Identify your emotional eating triggers:
What situations, places, or feelings make you reach for the comfort of food? Most emotional eating is linked to unpleasant feelings, but it can also be triggered by positive emotions, such as rewarding yourself for achieving a goal or celebrating a holiday or happy event.
Here are some common causes of emotional eating:
Stress – Ever notice how stress makes you hungry? It’s not just in your mind. When stress is chronic, as it so often is in our chaotic, fast-paced world, it leads to high levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.
Cortisol triggers cravings for salty, sweet, and fried foods—foods that give you a burst of energy and pleasure. The more stress in your life, the more likely you are to turn to food for emotional relief.
Stuffing emotions – Eating can be a way to temporarily silence or “stuff down” uncomfortable emotions, including anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, resentment, and shame. While you’re numbing yourself with food, you avoid the emotions you’d rather not feel.
Boredom or feelings of emptiness – Do you ever eat simply to give yourself something to do, to relieve boredom? You feel unfulfilled and empty, and food is a way to occupy your mouth and your time. In the moment, it fills you up and distracts you from underlying feelings of purposelessness and dissatisfaction with your life.
Childhood habits – Think back to your childhood memories of food. Did your parents reward good behavior with ice cream, take you out for pizza when you got a good report card, or serve you sweets when you were feeling sad? These emotionally based childhood eating habits often carry over into adulthood. Or perhaps some of your eating is driven by nostalgia—for cherished memories of grilling burgers in the backyard with your dad, baking and eating cookies with your mom, or gathering around the table with your extended family for a home-cooked pasta dinner.
Social influences – Getting together with other people for a meal is a great way to relieve stress, but it can also lead to overeating. It’s easy to overindulge simply because the food is there or because everyone else is eating. You may also overeat in social situations out of nervousness. Or perhaps your family or circle of friends encourages you to overeat, and it’s easier to go along with the group.
Find other ways to feed your feelings:
If you don’t know how to manage your emotions in a way that doesn’t involve food, you won’t be able to control your eating habits for very long.
Diets so often fail because they offer logical nutritional advice, as if the only thing keeping you from eating right is knowledge. But that kind of advice only works if you have conscious control over your eating habits. It doesn’t work when emotions hijack the process, demanding an immediate payoff with food.
In order to stop emotional eating, you have to find other ways to fulfill yourself emotionally. It’s not enough to understand the cycle of emotional eating or even to understand your triggers, although that’s a huge first step. You need alternatives to food that you can turn to for emotional fulfillment.
Here are some ideas:
If you’re depressed or lonely, call someone who always makes you feel better, go for a walk, or look at a favorite photo or cherished memento.
If you’re anxious, expend your nervous energy by dancing to your favorite song, squeezing a stress ball, or going on the treadmill.
If you’re exhausted, treat yourself with a hot cup of tea, take a bath, light some scented candles, or wrap yourself in a warm blanket.
If you’re bored, read a good book, watch a good comedy show, explore the outdoors, or turn to an activity you enjoy (playing an instrument, singing, scrapbooking, etc.).
About the Authors:
Tanya Rosen – Founder and Owner of Nutrition by Tanya
M.S CAI CPT is the founder and owner of Nutrition by Tanya. Tanya holds a Master’s degree from Brooklyn College, as well as many speciality certificates such as pre and post natal fitness and nutrition, sports nutrition, and working with special populations such as children, senior citizens, and athletes.
Tanya also has extensive knowledge and experience in working with complex medical conditions and eating disorders. As a trainer and group class instructor, Tanya has certifications in Kickboxing, Pilates, Boot camp, and Step. With the motto that no two classes should ever be the same, Tanya is always bringing new routines and moves to her popular classes. Tanya is also the creator of the first ever kosher workout DVD series for women and girls bringing her best workouts to the comfort of people’s homes.
Always a writer, Tanya enjoys writing for the Jewish Press and Ami magazine, as well as working on her future book. On a personal level, Tanya understands the struggle as she herself lost 40 pounds twelve years ago and works hard to keep it off. With almost 15 years of experience as a Personal Trainer, aerobics instructor, and nutritionist, Tanya directs the program with new ideas, and her constant support and availability towards all her clients.
Rachel Esses – Nutrition Counselor and Manager of Williamsburg Location
Rachel Esses is a Nutrition Counselor and manager of the Williamsburg location. Rachel combines her enthusiasm for healthy eating and helping others to help people reach their goal weight and full potential. Rachel is down-to-earth, yet firm in her role of holding her clients accountable. She is confident in her expertise and is an extremely compassionate listener. Rachel takes her clients’ personal beliefs, preferences, goals and lifestyle combined with the latest nutrition research into account to create a way of eating that suits each individual.